My frist chapter

My frist chapter, that is ahcem, first chapter will be about power symbols.

Let's start with the most obvious, that of law enforcement. Many little men have discovered the power of enforcement of the law. The sherriff's badge, which I happen to have as a belt buckle today (you see I have a thing for power symbols), is a clear power symbol, one of authority and the right to do bad stuff on you. This symbol is made more powerful in today's culture by the cut jaw of Mr. Eastwood and the swaggery squinty Mr. Wayne. These badges come in more shapes and sizes than the good trusty tin pin-on five-point, but most people get the hint.

On a digressive note, I can't get over the news items, and there seeem to be more than a few lately, where people have taken the badge and uniform and paraded as cops in order to get their way, the worst case being the man who kidnapped people with it.

Still on the topic of law enforcement we have the Crown Victoria, made by the not-for-long standing Ford Motor Company, as a symbol of getting your sorry speeding shalopy pulled over and you paying money in the form of fines and increased car insurance. Hit someone in the pocket book and sure enough they jump, or in this case they jump on the brake pedal.

Speaking of catching speeders, I enjoyed the tid bit in the free ad+news paper yesterday, here (uhm, I can't find a link, don't even know if one exists... if I find it I'll come back and make the appropriate edits), and speaking of cameras, I found this tidbit.

Now back to power symbols:
I wonder if power colors should be their own chapter? I don't think so since it's been pretty well covered, and there's not much more to say other than red and black are power colors and here's some examples. (i.e. the cover of Devil's Advocate with Keanu Reeves and Al Pacino)

Now back to power symbols:
I can't really think of any more at the moment, except maybe weapons? Guns, knives, bombs, and vehicles are generally symbols of power. Yes vehicles in the 21st century are weapons, just ask NYC. I also would say the vehicle is a weapon any time someone is run over by a car, espeically if that person is in a crosswalk. Someone with a vehicle around them is clearly less vulnerable than someone without.

What else shall I include in this first chapter? Maybe tech as a symbol of power? I tend to prefer the understood and understated minimalist displays of power as effective, whereas some people prefer the macrodisplay. I think when a technology is in its infancy it tends to be gregarious and engaging, whereas when it matures it tends to become more sophisticated. I'm better at sweeping statements like that more than I am at backing up such, but I think most people would agree with me (when I can't support I just get the support of 'most people'). At any rate this is an idea for thought food and one worth exploring. If not by me, by someone at least, I'm already on to the next whim.

Till next time.

Moo

Right now, reading The Big Moo, a better book than most of the self help books I've read, just because it's so easy to read, and easy to apply quickly. On the other hand, I can't completely discount other books, penned by the likes of Napoleon Hill, Thomas Stanley, Stephen Covey, or those folks who write Crucial Conversations for that matter, which by the way is a great book. I haven't read the first book by Seth Godin, Purple Cow, but I plan to. I'm probably reading them backwards, but that's alright.

One thing I thought about after reading a little of the Big Moo is the name of a business. Words like Yahoo, Napster, Google, iPod all had little to no meaning just a decade ago. Maybe not a decade any more, I'm getting old, but let me think... at least 12 years ago. Granted these are internet objects, but even so. I wonder if the name for my wife's company is really the right one, or the best one. I think we're going forward with it anyway.

Also, while I was reading the book, I started thinking about something I really enjoy, that is information at my fingertips. I love the internet for that reason. Sometimes however, I don't much like Google, because I get lots and LOTs of results that I don't want. At the same time, it the result I do want doesn't even show up within the first two pages of results. How does that happen? I generally just work around it without much thought, and try different strings until I get what I want or close enough to it. The fact of the matter is that search engines really have their work cut out for them because there are so many exceptions to the rules one would like to make regarding the information superdump that is the web.

Google: garbage out, or, garbage left everywhere. a weak play on google, but I was also thinking of the GIGO principle and how the government, to whom I am contracted, could be so much more effective if the information was organized, centralized, and readily available. Not that everyone doesn't want to get to that point, but why is it so difficult.

I also fantasized about being the go-to person for information. I could get there, I think. Provided I have the time and energy and I don't get swept into my next big plan.

My other book, which I'm only part-way through and which I have to wait to be mailed to me is The Power and the Glory by Graham Greene. Well written to say the least, it's easy to see why it's a classic. I have to add though that I'll be glad when it's over, I don't overly care for the main character, or I should say I don't overly care about the main dude, he's hapless and helpless and representative of all of us in some way I'm sure, but in the final result there's not enough, at least not enough for me. There are some great moments though. I'll have to get the book back before I can write out a blockquote but there's a bit about being a saint I like, and there was some stuff earlier about whether or not to be an atheist, something about making your will match God's which in turn implies that you actually wish your misfortunes on yourself and others' misfortunes on them, which I think would be hard to swallow, if that's what it takes to believe in Him. I'll add my .02 and say that it doesn't have to be all or nothing like that, I'm taught that evil happens without the help of God, he simply decides when to put his foot down. I wonder if that means He wills it because He doesn't stop it? Some would say, "yes."

Confusing as Cricket

Saw this on Yahoo.au within an article about Australia winning something called a 4th Ashes Test.

In the first session today, Glenn McGrath, playing his last Test in Melbourne before his retirement, was the last man out for a duck. McGrath was caught in the gully by Ian Bell to give seamer Sajid Mahmood his fourth wicket of the innings.

Also I discovered how to do a blockquote, which was something I wanted for some of my book quotes previously. Now if I can manipulate the blockquote to something neat-o, that would be swell.

Anyway, I'd hate to be the one out for a duck caught in a gully by anyone.

I'm not even entirely sure they were talking about cricket, but there was batting and bowling in the same game.

Eagles

Right now I'm listening to the Eagles, and they're really good! I had a bookmark for radioblogclub.com, and randomly went back to it. I think I must have been perusing an audio clip at the time I made the bookmark, and the audio list had Eagles in it.
Hotel California
Tequila Sunrise
Peaceful Easy Feeling
just great songs. I like blues, some misc electronic, and of course almost all my old stuff, REM, Toad, Indigo Girls, etc, but you know it's nice to listen to a little of everything (unless it's about bitches and hoes in the hood).

Get Rich Immediately and Easily!

Today I completely avoided my book, there's only a little left to read and I don't have a replacement lined up.

Instead I read the free "news" and stared into space at occasional intervals. This guy had taken out a full page ad to get people to take his get rich quick workshop. He almost had me convinced. I realized that this guy isn't getting rich off of real estate any more, although I'm sure he has some good income from that, but another big chunk of income is from his books and workshops, and I wouldn't be surprised if he was getting more dollars on the hour from that effort. I'll say for myself that I don't have the instinct for the jugular required to really make it in real estate.

That's all I have right now.
This gives me an idea for a book. Do I write it here? Will anyone see it?
My other fear is that there will be a rash of books in the same vein.

Renaissance

The title of this little post isn't fitting, that is unless you count that Michelangelo was somewhere in that time period.

You see, I saw someone on the train last week, and instantly decided to write about her and haven't done so until now. She instantly made me think of a Michelangelo, or DaVinci painting, with her rounded forehead, hair falling flat from the crown, and then soft curls starting near the temples, falling to her shoulders. She had reddish hair. I'll add that I was surprised how short she was when she stood to get out at the same stop I did.

This morning tying my tie, I noticed a small pull about halfway down. I'd known it was there, but felt sad and annoyed all over again. This feeling didn't make me take my tie off.

I'm reading The Plague still, and nearing the end. I'll have to find another book. I had intended to read The Stranger by the same author. The book has such wonderful moments when characters express themselves or events occurr and the author explains in a certain way. Last week there were quite a number of passages I wanted to put down here, but alas I can't be bothered to make up for my sloth.

How can I expect myself to write a book, dedicate time to it each day, add pages to it, if I can't even consistently add to this little web log. Still I think it a good start, similar to my start into the monogamous life. I didn't do well at first, but gradually weaned myself from the thrill of omnogamy. Now only my eyes and some part of my mind, a secluded and very small data store periodically archived and deleted, posess all.

Just now I wonder what else I didn't do well but eventually got the hang of... Painting walls, perhaps? I'm still not brilliant, but I think I have improved some, with patience and practice.

Phrase of the day, which I came up with while talking with my co-worker: "you can't have 'atmosphere' without 'fear'". Naturally it doesn't work on paper, but phonically it's amusing. Now having had that thought, how about a meaningless addendum: " you can't have 'atmosphere' without' sphere'".

From Shalimar to Plague

Now I am reading The Plague by Albert Camus.

Shalimar the Clown ended on a slightly ambiguous note, I wonder if the author was so pleased with his own book that he wanted to leave open the possibility for a sequel. I thought the book was good exposure to the Kashmir situation. I remember learning vaguely about India, and within the brief overview of its history a mention that Kashmir is and was a troubled region. Unfortunately the book didn't help me love and accept Muslims as a misunderstood bunch of dudes the way I think they'd like to be seen here in the States. On the other hand I guess the religion would have to take a less radical form in a civilized and monied society like this one. Isn't that what happened to Christianity?

Spoiler warning, if you're planning to read Shalimar, don't read this...
One thing I didn't like, or didn't expect was India/Kashmira to fall for and carry on with a guy who was from Kashmir. Being used to and growing up in the States wouldn't he be inaccessible?
Then again, I don't undertand the GIs who ended up staying in Vietnam or Korea, since I have a difficult time understanding cultures other than my own. As a side note, my coping mechanism
when encountering foreign behavior, American or other wise is to be accepting and not take anything too seriously. My assumption these days, in my old age is that I'm not going to have time to understand as much as I'd like any more.

On to The Plague. The cover says

"A PERFECT ACHIEVEMENT"
- NEW REPUBLIC
So far it's quite a clever read. The author gives us two characters through which the story is told, one whom the author claims is the author, and one is observed through his day-to-day encounters. The author's author is a detatched, rather eccentric person, who makes notes of odd vignettes for himself, but collects information from various sources to compose the book I am reading. I haven't decided whether the author has stepped out of his character's shoes to tell about him, or whether the author intends that his author character is writing about himself. The other character, a doctor, in a book about the plague, easily, or I should say appropriately, is in a position to chronicle the effects because he is in the position of visiting and treating affected patients. The author changes from specific conversations, using quotation marks, and specific people to the doctor's general experiences such as the fact that he has to stay at the house where a patient is inflicted, or the family will shut out the ambulance when it arrives. Then he's accompanied by volunteer police who stay so he can move on to the next house.

Also interesting about the book are the frequent references to the sky, be it indifferent, clear blue, oppressive, etc.

A little comment about myself. I almost stopped reading this book. There's a passage that reminded me that I don't do well with blood, especially in a story, or a book, or even just at parties where someone is telling a funny story about hearts exploding with nothing externally visible.
This passage is after a meeting with the local government in which Dr. Rieux tries to convince them that something is definitely going on, and that they are better safe than sorry.
Followed by scowls and protestations, Rieux left the committee-room. Some minutes later, as he was driving down a back street redolent of fried fish and urine, a woman screaming in agony, her groin dripping blood, stretched out her arms toward him.

This book is about what people do in a situation where something is going wrong, and eventually that something starts to interfere in their lives, eventually to the point where their town becomes literally cut off from the outside world.

I did stop reading Interview with the Vampire, I couldn't handle the engorgement the newly changed vampire experienced. I didn't stop reading Gravity's Rainbow though the part about the dogs' salivary glands being surgically pointed outside their mouths to more easily collect and measure the salivary response almost made me pass out.

Wastes of time

Thoughts while riding metro: What isn't a waste of time, really?
First, and easier are the items that ARE a waste of time
Television (I suppose with the exception of educational television)
Sports
Books by 'D for Dead' type authors

I'll have to think about it more. There's so much of life that we just do to pass the time, so much that isn't pointed towards one purpose. I think that it would be impossible to make progress towards that purpose every minute of every day, so then there are those gaps where the human being unwinds and recouperates and is ready for the next round.

Shalimar's Got a Devil

Again, this book is clearly about the ideas that drive people, and how those ideas are played out and how they are described by humans to one another, and to the reader.

Shalimar, now that he's mad as hell and not going to take it any more, runs off to join the Kashmir liberation army (he's from Kashmir, and apparently the area is in dispute), only this is really a way for him to pass time until he can kill his former wife (she's dead legally but not dead physically). While up in the mountains there's a lot of words about him, his state, the state of his former wife, the state, and foreshadowing the fate of all of the above. One passage I liked, and want to quote is on page 265. This is the iron mullah, who once took up residence in the neighboring village of Shirmal, in Kashmir, and failed to bring things to a violent head there. This same mullah is now on the Paki side of the line, again inciting violence in a strong confident voice. Part of his teaching as follows:

Ideology was primary. The infidel, obsessed with possessions and wealth, did not grasp this, and believed that men were primarily notivated by social and material self-interest. This was the mistake of all infidels, and also their weakness, which made it possible for them to be defeated. The true warrior was not primarily motivaed by worldly desires, but by what he believed to be true. Economics was not primary. Ideology was primary.

I think it's easy to see the connection between this and almost every terrorist action, and in my mind I wonder how this idea can be exercised in a normal non-violent way against the oppression of the economy. Ok that doesn't make sense, I'm really just enjoying the exposure to ideas that this book has to offer. This book not only makes me impatient, but it makes me pensive.

Paralysis

Now that I've filled 'you' in on the fact that my mind hits upon wonderful ephiphanies while emerging from underground and pedding my way to the tall squarish structure called 'my' office building, here is one of them, in its either short or long form, hard to say before I've written it.

Today's epiphany of sorts looks like this: "Paralyzed by Possibilities." This would protentially be put on a t-shirt in some funky Web 3.0 font with a bit of glow and goo looking pseudo ironed-on... and the back story of the shirt as told to literally thousands of inquiring minds on the street, in the office on extremely casual day, and in bars, clubs, and places of gathering for social purposes, and even occasionally at church functions although more apprehensively** . Yikes does the period go after the ** thingy? What are those thingys called anyway? Reference marks? Text anchor points? Where was I?

Anyway then I realized it wasn't specific enough, I thought about my customer (program manager) and the lack of speed in which decisions are made, due to the need for accurate and complete information in as much volume as possible before said decision is promgulated (promulgated?). I personally can make decisions and I think they are wonderfully awesome, but I was thinking of the self in the scenario of talking to others, semi-social and mostly work environment where I want to sound intelligent and confident, but usually come across as unsure of my information, unless of course I'm sure of my information.

That whole train of thought really originated with the desire to excel at what I do and be acknowledged as a smart, competent member of the team, and eventually someone who can lead.

This thing, leadership, and the whole necessary part of actually liking people enough to LEAD them somewhere, the idea of having the personality for it seems distant to me. I feel that a metamorphosis would have to occur in which I become a pleasant and cheerful person with warmth and feeling as well as strength and resolve. The warmth and feeling part being the more problematic of those characteristics, since I think my ability to feel and to connect lies dormant. I hope it exists at all, for if it doesn't it can't wake up.

**apprehensive is word of the day

Mar Shali

More on Shalimar.
I'm the sort of guy who doesn't solve the mystery until Columbo does. Mystery shows and books for me were agonizing because I felt like (and yes the shows and books are for me, for I am Consumer, hear me read!) I should be catching on to vital clues and putting them together. This is only part of the list of ways the world intimidates me. Other items include those pictures that were popular when I was in high school, where a person had to look crosseyed or look beyond in order to see this cool 3-D hippo or something (in the meantime I'm sure those people were being subliminally programmed to eatmoremcdonalds; trivia games, crosswords, sudoku, and video games like Myst. What are those type called again?

To bring it back to the book I'm reading, I was annoyed for a few pages because it suddenly became clear to me why the main guy was killed, and I thought, well now I know how it ends, the big revelation, why keep reading? Annoyance. However, I realized this may have been intentional, that the author was not an buffoon and lousy writer, although it's not as fun now, knowing who took who from whom and had a girl by her and then got killed by the latter who. I realized that the plot is the accompaniment and the characters (with ideas in their heads) are the (what's the opposite of accompaniment?????)

For example I love this gem from p. 162:
He was moved to the Propaganda Section and in the two years that followed went back to what he knew: the creation of false identities. "The reinvention of the self, that classic American theme," he would write in his memoir, "began for me in the nightmare of old Europe's conquest by evil. That the self can so readily be remade is a dangerous, narcotic discovery. Once you've started using that drug, it isn't easy to stop."

One annoying thing I will add though, Rushdie's main characters are so beautiful and talented (the 4 main ones) that it's almost annoying in the sense that he's clearly highlighting the fiction that they are, and leaving only the ideas as the reality. The plot has been taken away in a 1 = 1 sense, the characters are imaginary vessels and only ideas remain.

Pretty good ones, I think.

This blog is for me

Literally, this blog is for me. I find that since I started this here little corner of for-me-ness, I have a running list of entries, from about getting-on-the-bus o'clock, until arriving-at-the-office o'clock in the morning, and somtimes at other times, but usually when I'm reading or have just read. In fact, that tidbit just written was composed in idea form at least a few days ago.

I enjoy the fact that I'm more thinky now that I have a blog. Hang on, I'm not really, as my lists will attest, I have lists of little catch phrases that I'd like to piss people off with, such as the one I thought of last week: 'lesbians are ugly', and hope one day to put them on t-shirts and sell them to extremely jaded cynical people.

I should eat, it's close to lunch time at the moment. It's actually past the time I could have started eating, but as usual I've been preoccupied when the 11 o'clock hour strikes.

But I want to finish this thought train. So I, wishing I had all the time in the world and a computer that could read directly from directed brainwaves (not the random less than directed thoughts, mind) and capture such things forever, for my own enjoyment in later years, or minutes, or for progeny.

I still haven't written my little concurrence with Marx.

Shalimar the Clown

I've finished Janet Frame's book and have moved on to Rushdie. I'm not sure how Shalimar the Clown made it onto my reading list, but I wonder if it's coming out as a movie sometime in the near future? I sometimes put such books on my reading list, and I sometimes find out a book that I've read will soon be or is planned to be a movie, such as Shantaram, which I very much enjoyed reading, in spite of myself and in spite of my lack of interest in India, and in spite of my boycott of Travelocity because their customer service is nothing but Indian or Pakistani, and incredibly frustrating.

Shalimar is not as absorbing as Shantaram, but still a lovely tale and well told nonetheless. Ever since my (recent) exposure to Nabokov, my sensitivity to wordplay is up, and there are a few examples of good wordplay in Rushdie's book.

I'll add more later about the book, but for now, I'll only say I love the part about the difficulty having a Hindi and Muslim wedding, in specific terms to bring it home to the reader, to help the reader understand. There was a bit earlier that I wanted to blockquote but I'll have to see if I can find it, it was about the first girl character, India, and her growing up with bad dreams and sleeptalking.

Hearing aids

Today on the bus, and again on the metro, I saw people around me wearing hearing aids, much like myself. Only they were wearing them to not hear. Not hear the silence, the thoughts of others, the surroundings, the scenery, the bare concrete walls once underground.

My hearing aids are to help me hear. While crossing the split tail of 370 I thought to myself, what bliss to never have to rely on sound, or to live in a silent world.

While getting off at Chinatown, I thought to myself, how pointless the music is.

Angel at my Table

My wife and I compared notes yesterday to see how the movie and the book possibly coincide. Thus far she did run from the classroom, and she has at this point been committed to a mental institution because she yelled at her mom on the day she was to be released from observation at the small time psychiatric ward in town. So she's off to Seacliff. I'm enjoying the writing more now that I'm used to it, and definitely not so hung up on her turns of phrases. Also, as I settle into the world of autobiography, I can appreciate that this is someone else's life, told in their words, and just enjoy the ride. The imporessions, the changes, and the experiences.

Also, as a side note, I've put Wil Wheaton's suggestions on my list of books to read. I'd only read One, unless you count his you might also likes, which gives me one more. I didn't add I, Robot though, I've not been able to get into Asimov, but then I haven't tried since I was a teen. Be that as it may I didn't add to my list, but the others I did. On a side (side) note, related but not on the list, Ray Bradbury is another author I didn't like, I just don't digest his style well, it goes through me and comes out runny and gassy.

Book AND Movie

Now reading An Angel at My Table by Janet Frame. My wife watched the movie and thought it was quite good, so she reserved the book for me.

It's been difficult reading, going from a minimalist deconstructionist last few books, to a foreign used of English, and places I've never heard of, nor relate to, a person I can't relate to, a family situation I can only vaguely relate to, and the very rawness and vulnerability, like a soft girl hating and needing at the same time, which to me is revolting. It's been good though, it's a step further from me and my paradigm than Marya Horbacher's autobiography. At least Marya was tough and disillusioned. In Frame's book, I have to look hard for the crust formed by reality, such as Janet's relationship with Isabel, her freewheeling sister, in which she concedes that her view and expectations of her sister are her own and wouldn't be realized.

I have to add though, that in spite of my discomfort, it's a good journey into a new world, and it's well written, though discordant with my inner rhythm of language and description.

Posting from email

So now I have to choose another book to read. Something by Hunter S. Thompson perhaps? I also have Albert Camus on my list.

Those of you who are perusing by, take a moment to let me know what good books you've sunk your teeth into lately.

Branchin out into Moviz

Well since Lolita has no more words for me, I was relegated to reading the free rag on the metro, what a huge Super Coup!

I just got my coupons for the redbox DVD rental machine at our local Giant. I think it's a great idea, and huge cost saver, with the poential to compete with Blockbuster in a big way. I wonder if they're publicly traded. For one thing, I know everyone who got Netflix stock back in the day are pleased.

Since I don't have a reading book, I'll add some words about movies. I love movies, not in the sense that I love the actual movies themselves, but movies, as a library-whole. Trailer just watched: Smokin' Aces. I don't know if it's supposed to be a more is better take on Lock Stock and two Smokin' Barrels, or even Snatch, clearly of the same genre, but MORE! Let's have a whole heap of misfits and throw them together, 5 original jokes for each type, which only they could pull off, a total of 25 jokes, at 100 million per joke, that should bring in the profits nicely.

1 week 1 Lolita

Sadly, I've finished Lolita, and said goodbye to old Humbert Humbert. Through the whole book I had a hard time putting a movie-star face and physique to him. He seemed more like Adam Krug, probably because I only read Bend Sinister a few months ago. What reinforced my difficulty was the fact that he was European. I really enjoyed the author's afterward, in which he addresses his critics. How human. My favorite part, and this to me felt as good as petting a kitten or a baby rabbit, was this:


___Lest the little statement I am making here seem an airing of grudges I must hastedn to add that besides the lambs who read the typescript of Lolita or its Olympia Press edition in a spirit of 'Why did he have to write it?' or 'Why should I read about maniacs?' there have been a number of wise, sensitive, and staunch people who understood my book much better than I can explain its mechanism here.
___Every serious write, I dare say, is aware of this or that published book of his as of a constant comforting presence. Its pilot light is steadily burning somewhere in the basement and a mere touch applied to one's private thermostat instantly results in a quiet little explosion of familiar warmth. This presence, this glow of the book in an ever accessible remoteness is a most companionable feeling, and the better the book has conformed to its prefigured contour and color the ampler and smoother it glows. But even so, there are certain points, byroads, favorite hollows that one evokes more eagerly and enjoys more tenderly than the rest of one's book.

How soothing to read a justification for writing expressed this way. I admit I find it strange to be referring to myself as soothed by the words, but I don't have a better way of putting it at the moment. I don't want to say heart-strings, because it's not really the case. It's more like coming out of a cold building and feeling the warm sun on my skin.

I can't get my blog composer to put in spaces or tab ahead of the beginning of the paragraphs of my quoted text. If you happen to wander by, and know the answer I'd appreciate your input.

No Reading

Yesterday my wife picked up Lolita, and I'm glad. However, I drove to work today, my morning meeting was somewhere else and no metro to get there. I haven't had a chance to read the book, needless to say.

I do want to make a comment about the book I'm reading though. I realized why Manhunt is increasingly annoying to me as I get into it more. After reading Greelanders, I came to enjoy the straightforward narrative style and the minimum fluff that comes from having a story to tell. In Manhunt, the story would be over all too quickly, and the book much too thin to give the author a good return on investment. So I have this book, full of conjecture (he must have seen; he was disappointed to know), unnecessary detail (he heard the floorboards creak above his head as he went under the stage), the small bits of action only barely balances the tedium.

While writing my entry I had a thought about the assassination attempt on secretary Seward, and it took me to wikipedia. I just read all the pertinent facts about the assassination, the people involved, the hanging of the accomplices, and even one theory that Booth escaped and a double was killed instead. I think I'll be able to return Manhunt with no guilt.

Gallaudet protest

Well, now for a little info about myself, I am partially deaf, and I have other people in my family who are deaf. We know people at Gallaudet University, and hope the situation there concludes in the best way possible.

At this point, what is best? History has clearly been made, and people will noise about this for decades to come. The protest is real, the division is real, and there is bad feeling that the current university president will never shake from here on out. Will Fernandes resign, or will she stay? If she resigns, she looks as though she really would have done a bad job, and her future prospects are poor, since other employers would probably have concerns about her viability in terms of support from co-workers and students. If she stays in office, she might crib from any other leader who's been the victim (yes victim) of public protest and attempted coup. She will simply shore up her defenses, engage her supporters and plow on with a focus on the school and a positive outlook, and let her results speak for themselves.

What really bothers me is that I haven't heard anything hard against Fernandes except "we don't like her personality" or "she rubs me the wrong way," "she alienates people." Seriously folks, does that mean she won't be able to do her job? But she was hand picked by Jordan! So that makes her incompetent? Did she destroy some critical program with her blundering ways? Did she eliminate critical people and cripple the education system? How exactly is she going to make life hell for the students at Gallaudet, other than simply existing as a person hated by some handful? In my opinion, many of the protesters are parroting back what some central brain trust is feeding them in terms of WHY WE ARE HERE and WHAT WE WANT. Do any of those students really think they're up against the end of their school as we know it today? I think it's more the thrill of being part of it, and skipping classes, yay!

Related articles... Well actually just a bunch of links on the topic:
http://news.gufssa.com/category/press-releases/
http://news.gufssa.com/2006/10/13/arrests-ordered-by-dr-i-king-jordan/
http://www.ridorlive.com/
http://kansas4fssa.blogspot.com

Manhunt

My next book, now that I've finished Grendel, is Manhunt: The 12-Day Chase for Lincoln's Killer by James L. Swanson.

Last night I got to the library just as it was closing. I wasn't even planning on going in, we were returning The Magnificent Seven, with Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen and some other good guys, one bad guy and his gang, and a bunch of farmers. I dropped the video outside, but then realized I only had 5 pages left in Grendel, and would be destitute of reading material for the trip down and back today. Heaven forbid I should actually get work done on the commute, like I keep telling myself I should. The good thing was, I had my laptop, so I could work if I wanted. At any rate, the library was open, so I rushed inside, trying not to look too wild. I first checked the reserved shelves, to see whether Lolita was there, but still nothing. I looked for recommended books, and most of them were popular writers, or scary books for Halloween. I found this one, it looked half interesting, and was something I'd not really read about or thought about before. And non-fiction would probably be a good break from all the casting of spells and devils and monsters of my last two books.

So far it's pretty blah but readable. I think the author clearly took the time to get quotes, limit the text to facts, and put sufficient bridge sentences to explain the series of events. I guess coming off of something juicy and philosophical like Grendel makes Manhunt seem dry. Then again, there's the exciting cover of a drawing which shows Booth shooting his single shot pistol into Lincoln's head, and in the other hand holding a knife in case the shot went awry, so it's not all bad. I just look at the cover and remind myself this is an exciting book.

More Grendely goodness

Grendel is now fully enmired by the dragon's influence, and has killed quite a few of our poor thanes over the course of years. I find it interesting, and, well, disappointed, but not bothered by the fact that I can sense the author at his late night lamp inserting his thoughts via Grendel's observations of others. I sense him asking himself, "I want to throw this in... how might I best tie it to the times?" Poor buffeted Grendel is a lovable character in his battered and confused state, in spite of the evil he does to the poor small hairless humans to whom the earth has been given.

I like how the author inserts time, silence, and waiting into his descriptions of events. It's a good device for invoking introspection on the part of the characters, and at the same time thought on the part of the reader. The mind is an interesting tool, it has time, in the space between one sentence and the next, to re-create, then observe and think on the scene the words have just dictated to it. Occasionally though, my mind needs more time than that small space, and I look around the train car, at the people travelling with me.

Strippers

I just wasted maybe 15 minutes reading up on the Duke lacrosse team case, in which a stripper accused three members of raping her back in April. It was a RSS on gmail, the ones that scroll across the top, and it said something about DNA testing didn't clear the lacrosse team members. What's up with that? I think I have heard that DNA isn't 100% conclusive, but it should be a strong factor against the accuser. I also read up some more about the case and the people involved. This being the internet, I wondered if her name had been leaked, and it had, and There was a page on dilby.com with a whole bunch of information that really makes her look bad. The prosecutor hasn't dropped the case though, so there must be something under the surface that's going to come out after this is all over. The question in my mind is, who really wins after this is all over? The lawyers, pretty much.

Note to self: I'm so glad I have my own personal escort for life, of my choosing, who is my equal and partner in every way. Escort doesn't really sound right... (thumbing through the internet) she's more of a consort in this sense and in this sense. She is my queen.

Today's excerpt

Now I have left the fair land of greenies, their fjords and such, and find my nose in my next book, which lay fallow till now.

Grendel by John Gardner. I mentioned it earlier as being by Somebody Else, but no harm done, right?

This is the Beowulf story, from the monster Grendel's perspective. What an enjoyable read. This line gave me a chuckle:
Now and then some trivial argument would break out, and one of them would kill another one, and all the others would detach themselves from the killer as neatly as blood clotting, and they'd consider the case and they'd either excuse him, for some reason, or else send him out to the forest to live by stealing from their outlying pens like a wounded fox. At times I would try to befriend the exile, at other times I would try to ignore him, but they were treacherous. In the end, I had to eat them.
Ok so it was several lines.

Nothing much else for today. I had some interesting thoughts about men and women, and the answer to it all, but it's gone from me now.

Cocaine can

I've found I like to keep a dimple in the side of my coke can, no bigger than a dime, which fits my thumb knuckle. In this way I faciliate the raising of it to my lips for a sip. It's actually diet coke, the silver can with red, white, and silver logo.

On my way in I wandered onto the fact that Coke is so common in usage, as a word and as a drink, that most folks don't ever connect Coke the brand to cocaine, the illegal substance which gives its name, harking back to a time when this stuff was new and unregulated. Then in another instance of random connectedness, I had to laugh at this on best-of craigslist.

Thoughts prompted by morning's reading

Reading more about our Greenlanders hasn't gone as rosily as expected, and Gunnar's son has been burned at the stake for sleeping with an Icelandic woman. As it says in the book, 'The punishment had fit the crime fantastically, like a huge man's robe on a tiny child.'

I started thinking a little, and came up with another of my short sayings, or proverbs. I thought about a society... actually I think my mind had wandered to voting, and I briefly remembered a blog post where the author said he didn't vote, because he didn't know enough. I thought to myself, that's part of the same reason I don't vote, the other and slightly greater part being the fact that the person before me on the paper is only there because of funding, either his/her own deep pockets or the deep pockets of someone, that someone not being struggling middle class peons.

That led me to think of the community level politics, and there I take the tack that if I lived with the right people, they would be voting as I would, and the folks in office would do the job as though I had voted for them.

I thought to myself, I'd be willing to move if the community started burning the wrong people at the stake (to relate this all back to what I was reading), but I know in my heart that sometimes I'm braver in thought than I am in action, especially as I get older. In my mind, as I moved from place to place, bumped because the community was either too liberal, or too supersitious, I ached for a place where I would have no complaints, where evil was identified correctly, and the solution identified correctly. I think I've forgotten my proverb, but it ran something like this:

"Most communities are either too liberal or too superstitious."

I then thought about the two words, liberal and superstitious, and wondered whether they were the right words. Some people are superstitious in their defense of the liberal point of view, and some people are liberal in their defense of their superstitious point of view. By superstitious I would encompass conservative, religious, just-because, and close-minded people. With the word liberal, I mean all those people who are less superstitious than I am.

Towards the end

The Greenlanders were due back to the library, but thanks to Mr. Renewal and his good pal Mr. Online, I now have till 10/30 to finish the book and return Gunnar, Margaret, and all their pals.

Things are looking much better for the scroungy band, the great hunger that lasted several winters is now 8 years ago, and farms are beginning to prosper. Not only that but the book-long fued between Asgeir's family and Ketil's family is stitched up some by marriage between Asgeir's granddaughter (granddottir) and Ketil's last surviving son.

One of my favorite things about the book is all the talk of luck, signs, omens, and things of ill or good portent. We, civilized beings that we are, don't think in such terms any more, or at least, any more than the stifled impulse will allow. I like the conversations between the characters, and the examples of their reasoning. For example:

... . And after he left, a surprising thing happened, and that was that Jon Andres Erlendsson appeared at Gunnar's booth with some men that he knew, all proserous farmers from Vatna Hverfi district, and he asked for Helga Gunnarsdottir in marriage.
Now Gunnar invited the men inside his booth and asked them ot sit down, and the mne, who numbered seven, with Jon Andres, were all men Gunnar had known in Vatna Hverfi district, or else the sons of these men. They were men whose envy of Asgeir had turned into pleasure at the trick that had done Gunnar out of his steading, or so it seemed to Gunnar. Although they sat about smiling, as folk do when there is talk of marriage, their smiles seemed evil and false to Gunnar, and aroused in him a painful sense of shame that he had not especially felt since his removal to Hvalsey Fjord. These were men who had amused themselves by repeating the verses of Ketil the Unlucky against Margret Asgeirsdottir, who had clung tight to Erlend Ketilsson in every case against Gunnary, who had gossiped about the Gunnars Stead folk whenever they could. Now one of them said to Gunnar, "My friend, it is not usual for a man to remain silent when the master of such a steading as Ketils Stead, and all the steadings that go together with it, makes such a proposal."
Gunnar said, "Indeed, I must hold on to my thoughts if I am to make something of them. I had no notion of this."
"But the maiden is well past the ideal marriage age. How many different thoughts can there be of such a case?"
Now Jon Andres Erlendsson said, "A man must come to a reply in his own way, and it seems to me wise to let him do so, rather than to distract him and tempt his annoyance." And so everyone sat about for a little while longer. Gunnar looked at the fellow, and he saw that he had not lost this quality that he had had earlier, when defending himself in the action of Kollgrim's dunking, a quality of smoothness and a charm that had to be likened to something bright--a fire, or a star. If Helga's gaze were to reveal something unsightly about him, Gunnar could not imagine what it would be. And his friends looked to him in all things, it was easy to se that. Gunnary looked away from him, and reminded himself o fthe injuries done to him and his father by this man and Erlend, and even Ketil, if old stories were to be believed. Jon Andres said, "Old man, you are scowling, and thinking of what has gone before, but it seems to me that these things may be laid to rest now, for I am heartily sorry for my father's sins and my own." The other men nodded and smiled in aproval at this speech.
"Nay," said Gunnar, "I am thinking of what is to come, for business remains unfinished that endangers many folk, and it seems to me a sign of unwisdom to let it linger."

Gunnar is talking about Jon Andres' former friend Olfeig who is a menace to all the farmers in that area. Interesting to note too are the comments at the end of incidents and conversations such as this one, which tell us what people thought of events. In this case 'people' thought that Gunnar was foolish to turn Jon Andres down, and reminded themselves that not for nothing he was considered unlucky.

My picture

This is me
Apparently the way I get a picture on my profile is to put on in a post and then find it later.

On Introductions

I am thinking of giving The Greenlanders to my brother, and I pictured in my mind, his reading of it. I felt a tick of anxiety over his formative moments with the book, which brough my mind to my own formative moments with the book.

Beginnings, in writing, to me, are so important. I hate waiting for a book to pick up, and it must be ego, but I look for the author grasping for the loose folds of my shirt, trying to draw me behind the curtain into the world of the book.

My book will grab people with a long ramble. Anyone who has no patience for my rambling wouldn't enjoy my writing anyway. However much I break my sentences into bite sized bits of steak, the whole could not be anything but a ramble.

The times when I cannot write an email, a letter, a journal entry, or any bit of writing to others of more than two sentences, my struggle becomes which of the 360 degrees of life forms my starting point, but once I have the seed, that seed punctures the skin of thought and the words usually flow outward.

On the topic of beginnings, I love this quote from Orson Welles, "whether you have a happy or sad ending depends upon where you stop the story." I would say the same is true of beginnings; where in the story shall the author start?

And in dancing, the start of the dance must be sure, and confident, or the girl does not recover her trust, and I dance more jovially to make the rift less painful. (thinking more) a confident dancer isn't necessarily undone, however, there are chances to start fresh even within a song, it's possible to hang time and then start into the rhythm again.

Less and less

The Greenlanders are now facing lots of misfortune. People have died of sickness and starvation, and there are fewer cows, and not much forage for the sheep and goats. The hunting isn't going well, the wild animals have less to eat and are less plentiful, and there are fewer men to go out and hunt. At this point, I wonder how long the downward slide will continue. I imagine that the end of the book will be, "they all sailed away back to Norway or Iceland and gave it up."

Storytelling

As a testament to Jane Smiley's writing, and the tales in The Greenlanders, yesterday I told my wife about Margaret and Asta, who lived apart from everyone during the summer and had to stay with another family and help out during the winter. We were doing some finishing touches on the 2nd bedroom.

Regarding painting, I'll remember from now on not to use grey primer where I plan to put white paint. The worst of it was I had some white primer I could have used. The grey primer suited the walls fine, which were to recieve a dark periwinkle, but the same grey primer was also put onto the borders around the doors and on the baseboard. 3 coats of paint to cover that grey primer with the white, and in some places I'm not entirely sure it's covered. I'll leave it to the wife to decide.

Grendel and Greenlanders

I now, in addition to Greenlanders, have Grendel from the library. I even started the first 10 pages of Grendel, written by Something Adams. I haven't finished Greenlanders, but at least I'm halfway there, does that count?

One thing I love about Greenlanders is the stories are easy to remember and I could tell them to my children. On second thought, just because they're easy to remember doesn't mean they'll necessarily come to mind and intact. I think I should be caveating easy to remember with the following: for at least an hour.

On writers:
One writer I have consisently enjoyed is Nick Nunziata's writing on chud.com, I happened over there randomly, back when it only had a handful of DVD reviews, most of which were written by him. The Matrix II review stands out in my mind, probably because my bookmark was set there, before I updated and simply put chud.com.

How many other people bookmark a site in a random spot but really only want the main page. my toothpastefordinner bookmark always goes back to the hampster with the incredibly fast heartrate. I kinda wish I'd never seen a picture of the creater of that comic, he looks friendly enough, but now I can't read the poorly drawn napkin comics withouth thinking of his wookie-like features.

Musings on Writing

This morning on my way to work I thought some more about the book I would eventually write. I thought maybe a non-fiction, serious book, about migratory patterns and traffic of the human race over the eons. A silly idea, but then I tried to get it published, in my mind, and publishers were asking where I went to school. To the first few I replied that it was my own stuff, but after a number of chuckles and refusals, I pretended to be from one college or another, Berkeley I think, and they would then, instead of taking myword for it, make a phone call to verify, since they had never heard of me. I would eventually wind up with a smaller publisher, with smaller distribution, and smaller lump of change, but then I consoled myself with the fact that I hadn't shelled out for 6 years of school, this was to be my opportunity cost, and that after a few books, and several people picking them up and recognizing their value, I would eventually be sought after and well paid for my efforts.

I thought long and hard about something that I would want to read about, something that would catch me enough to drive me to read all about a topic, making copious notes, so that eventually it was a book. I remember trying to talk my sister into publishing her material which she'd accumulated by scratching together curricula for her various teaching jobs. i couldn't understand her reluctance.

This little blog is my start. I am writing for everyone and no one. I wonder how many writers write a book, and send it out like a litlte handmade boat onto the water.

More on Greenlanders

I find myself drawn into the story, now that the stage is more than set, and the previous generation has all but died off. It's a tiny thrill to be so anxious over characters described in such a plain narrative style.

In my own writing I notice how I try to trim the deadwood more and more. Mostly because I've transitioned from young'n to adult, with responsibilities. Where I used to struggle for a Subj line in email, there's now almost always a purpose or topic for each one. Especially at work, I'll compose a couple of paragraphs, and upon re-read I find I can get the same information from a couple of sentences. This process, isn't really comparable to writing a novel, but in a way, I notice the clear, spare, straightforwardness in language has good in it, where before, I wanted more words wherever possible. I used to list possilities in threes at least, if not more, and sometimes I would struggle to come up with possibliity number 3, i.e. in this situation a person will do several things: think about it, write down his thoughts, and ... eliminate the outliers.

Over and out!

The Greenlanders

Latest book: The Greenlanders by Jane Smiley.
I'm really enjoying the writing style, very plain, and matter-of-factly, which adds to the feel of the story. Main characters have been killed, with one or two sentences. Rather sudden, but then again the style is spare and abrupt. I'd like to write like that.

Old Joke

There's this deaf man, has a little trouble with the mafia, and the mafia, they catch hold of him. The deaf man apparently had their cash, and now they wants to know where it's hid. He doesn't talk very well, so they get a sign language interpreter. The interpreter signs to the man, they want to know where the money is.

The deaf man signs back "I'll never tell."
So the mafioso pulls out his pearl handled piece and says, "I'll shoot ya if you don't tell."
The deaf man gets scared so he explains where the money is hid, all in sign language.

The interpreter watches the deaf man, and then turns to the mafioso, and says, "This guy says you don't have the guts to shoot him."

Random Reading

This morning I had to grab whatever was handy. What it turned out to be was a paperback of collected folk tales from all over the world. On the way to work, I read some Scottish folk tales, which were pretty short, and this one was funny, and short, so easy to copy here (:

The Minister to his Flock

Aye ye're enjoyin' yoursels noo wi' yer drinkin' and yer women an' yer nights oot at the pictures, and never a thought given to the Word of God, and his great an' terrible laws.

But ye'll change yer tune when ye're doon below in the fiery pit, an' ye're burnin' an' ye're sufferin', and ye'll cry: 'O Lord, Lord, we didna ken, we didna ken.' And the Lord in his infinite mercy will bend doon frae heaven, and say 'Well, ye ken noo.'

My Vox

My wife knows about my Vox account, and thus far it's still not down. I want to use it, because I think it's more blog friendly to a guy like me who doesn't know anything.

I need to start changing my blog to look like waxy or rfjason. Subdivision of discrete posts is big for me.

http://tobyo.vox.com
Check it out!

Mor Books

Finished Bend Sinister, and yes we knew he would die, only didn't know how. The how was good, the author fantastic. I'm (vaguely) intersted to know what he was like in life.

Yesterday day read Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf still haven't looked up Virginia Woolf, will do so today probably, in wikipedia, the source of all usually correct knowledge, provided the persons talked about don't find out there's skinny on them... I read half coming in to work and half going back, and it really did work well, I finished maybe 10 min before I got off the bus to trot home.

I've now accepted from my wife Roald Dahl's The BFG and funny enough the reading isn't quick. For one thing, I'm savouring as I read, it's a different genre. It didn't occurr to me until I opened the cover, but it's the same author that wote James and the Giant Peach and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. He also wrote Charlie and the Magic Glass Elevator, which I suppose is why at the end of the Chocolate Factory movies, there is a glass elevator. I suppose the author took it a little further in the follow up book. I knew Roald Dahl sounded familiar

More Nabokov

I'm really enjoying this book, Bend Sinister, it's another dystopian novel, ficition, and yet fearsome. It's amazing and horrifying what happens to Krug's son after Krug is hauled in. I'm breathlessly awaiting Krug's fate, and only about 10 pages to the rest of the book. Nabokov hasn't let me down so far. In his foreward, or introduction, Nabokov disses Orwell's dystopia, and I can see why. In some ways Nabokov's delves into the real psychological throttling of a society by an idea, the idea wringing such acts as just mentioned, Krug's son's fate, or Krug's friends disappearing for the sole purpose of isolating him and removing his support. By being more myopic than 1984, Bend Sinister acheives a more directed attack, that of society against an independent thinker. As we follow Krug along his turn for the worse, the incredible, disgusting, and out-of-control society is seen along the way like glimpses of a larger madness.

In other news, how about something of a personal nature?

My wife and I are going through some growing pains, together, and I wrote her this today:

one thing that i have realized is that many people are wrong when they
say that the problem in most marriages is communication. the people
who say the problem is communication are not being specific enough.
the problem is that a new couple will communicate quite a lot, because
they are convinced that the problem is communication, but that won't
be a problem for them, they will communicate as much as possible.
what happens is the other person hears everything that the spouse is
saying, but realizes that the spouse doesn't understand at all. then
slowly, both of them feel like they can't say what they really think
and feel. they are committed to the marriage however, so they stay
together, but the whole time, they are feeling less and less like
expressing themselves. short bursts of conversation will take place,
and they spend the next few days trying to clean up the mess, which
causes them to feel cautious the next time around. and so on. so the
real key becomes, how do we break this cycle?

Book Quote 2

from Bend Sinister also:
p. 58
"I must confess I admired you, Professor. Of course you were the only real man among those poor dear fossils. I understand, you do not see much of your colleagues, do you? Oh, you must have felt rather out of place---"
"Wrong again," said Krug, breaking his vow to keep silent. "I esteem my colleagues as I do my own self, I esteem them for two things: because they are able to find perfect felicity in specialized knowledge and because they are not apt to commit physical murder."
Dr. Alexander mistook this for one of the obsucre quips which, he had been told, Adam Krug liked to indulge in and laughed cautiously.

=====
That last paragraph describes well the reaction I get from people whenever I stray into what I would actually like to say, or even more tempting for me, something that I find ironic, or amusing. I feel, unfortunately, that real appreciators of me are few.

Settings - I found it <--written post post

I need to change some settings on this blog, I'd rather have a title to each post, rather than a date, thus a nice little recap for the 'Recent Posts' list, but thus far I haven't fished through the handy UI to get my blog looking as it should.

If anyone stumbles through here, could you be kind enough to point me in the right direction?

Book Quote 1

I had a brainstorm, that went like this: all those times I wanted to share what I was reading and couldn't because my wife would only nod her head in deference to my obviously superiour contribution to the verbal Christmas tree between us, I could write them here, for everyone and no one.

For the history buff, and I'll probably send to deffy, the following from my current reading, Bend Sinister by Nabokov:
"I disagree with you there--with both of you, " the Professor of Modern History was saying. "My client never repeats herself. At least not when people are all agog to see the repetition coming. In fact, it is only unconsciously that Clio can repeat herself. Because her memory is too short. As with so many phenomena of time, recurrent combinations are perceptible as such only when they cannot affect us any more--when they are imprisoned so to speak in the past, which is the past just because it is disinfected. To try to map our tomorrows with the help of data supplied by our yesterdays means ignoring the basic element of the future which is its complete non-existence. The giddy rush of the present into this vacuum is mistaken by us for a rational movement."

All punctuation, grammer etc are [sic] except the last close quote, which was absent in the text.

My desk is somewhat cleared, there are only the minimum piles (3) and misc useful items.

I'm counting down to the time when I can stop warming this chair and start warming a seat on the metro. What I will do when I get down there is probably sleep all the way home.

I haven't really caught hold of anything interesting enough to put in this blog o mine, I should start discussing things with no one in particular until no one in particular comes in and reads it and for some reason the words I wrote sparks comments.

I did go catch the latest batch of best of craigslist. for once it wasn't 80% about sex. The one about bedbugs sticks in my mind. I don't see them as a real threat. But then one missionary told me that their flat is infested and they've sprayed and or fumigated twice already.

Has anyone else noticed how state and local taxes are starting to catch up to federal taxes? I take that back.. This will be my first full year earning a 'real' salary and not filing part year because I moved states, and the tax bills I saw when I filed last year were just scary. I think the next thing my reader will be thinking is, 'oh, so he doesn't know that state and local taxes have always been that high.' Well for the low low price of $110 I can talk to a tax adviser. Is it worth the money? Will I be able to get that money back from the tax man as a result of the consultation? What is my ROI?!?!?

I also just set up a blog over at Vox! Does anyone want a vox account, just ask me I'll do that referral thing, or try to.

My wife made me promise to take it down. I'm not saying she'll condone this one, I think she's against blogging as a waste of time. In a way, yeah, but there were some other blogger posts, and I can't comment w/o an account.

I love tuna, by the way. and kippers!!