What's the Point in Acquiring More Stuff?

Consumerism. This urge to amass junk has been rolling in my head, as a concept and an ugly one, and one that, in light of the recent season, call it Christmas, and my own urge to amass, seems pointless. The urge to amass junk is pointless. I think there are a number of nice to haves, like a good tie, and a good suit jacket, as well as a nice pair of shoes that take care of my feet so my feet will take care of me but beyond the basics, the list I just started does not quite cover, admittedly, why get all that crap?

The reason for this post, what drove me to it, was the connection between that thought-ball and this: when I type in a search for an amazon.com coupon, there are now hundreds of sites with endless lists of all the super duper specials to be taken advantage of, provided I buy a certain brand at a certain dollar amount, I could get it shipped free!!! It's enough to make me hit Buy Confirm I Agree at least 20 times before I come to my senses!

I've often wondered what I would do with more money than I need. I'm not at that stage yet, and probably won't be, we just got a light we can't really afford-- to make matters worse, we already have a light where the new light will go. Why replace it? The new one looks better. Anyway, I digress from this all-too-essential question: if I had more money than I need, what would I do with it? I've taken to looking at the very rich's clothing over the last... more than two years. I wonder to myself, is that clothing really amazing, or is it just clothes that have a higher price tag, sold at that price because the store can, but in reality the clothing itself isn't that much better than what I can get now? I've decided it depends on the definition of having more money than one needs.

Need in today's life is a subjective word. Do I need expensive shoes? I say yes, because my feet need to be not in pain. How expensive? Enough so that they're not in pain, and so far $100 a pair seems to cover it. More than that, and I call it extravagant. Ok more than $150 then, but not more than that. However, let's go to televisions. I have a CRT TV 19 inches or so, in my living room and it is sufficient. I can get DVDs, video, and PlayStation 2 to work on it. My needs are met. However, I'm slowly being brainwashed and will eventually 'need' a nice, new, not more than 26", or.. well, possibly 32" flat screen LCD high definition TV. I even saw one on craigslist for less than what they want in stores, second hand from some other bloke. How's that for savvy. The price was still $500, though. Once I decide I 'need' the flat screen, my need level just went up, and the end goal of having more than what I need was pushed back just a little. Compound that with furniture, decor, appliance, automobile, and vacation needs, and what I 'need' suddenly becomes more of the pie, leaving less for 'above need.' My next camera will be a large lens like the Rebel or something.

Cheers.

Journal Writing

I wonder how many people see blogging as a way to keep a journal. I would imagine that for the more personal and non-newsy, non-business blogs that would be the case. For me, there's not much personal information here, except for my opinions, which tell you a little about me. To get more, you'd have to read my journal, paper and hand written.

For New Year's my wife and I will be writing in our journals, summing up the year a little, and writing down whatever comes to mind. I'm already thinking about the blank that usually settles over my mind with the whoosh of a hardbound book being opened and flattened. Then something starts, much like drifting into a dream, where my mind catches onto one idea and it spins into more.

Happy New Year everyone. I always get nostalgic about this time of year, and for me nostalgia is painful, because it's usually 'What Might Have Been.'

New Family Blog

Well I've bought a website address, now I just have to figure out what I want to do with it. It's actually been a month now since I made the purchase and I've done nothing. I'm thinking of using blogger to post, or maybe WordPress. I have a host, but I'm not sure if I'm all hooked up or what. I did a few things but I haven't really taken the time to get it set up right. I need to call tech support and I admit I have an aversion, because I feel like there are things, like setting up one's blog that one should be able to do with the tutorials and FAQs at hand.

I probably won't post the link here since it will be for friends and family only, not that you, my gentle readers aren't like family or friends, but being like isn't the same as being.

Catch - up

To all my fans, I apologize for the long time in which I posted nothing.

I'm currently reading China * Inc. by Ted C. Fishman

Before that I read The Mole Diaries which was clearly teenagery audience, but entertaining still. My wife had it, she brought it over, and I grabbed it having nothing else to read, since I'd finished...

Can't remember what book it was. I got it from the library, I'm pretty sure. I think it was

Count Zero by William Gibson. I was glad to have read Neuromancer already, since a lot fo the world that was imagined/created in that book was borrowed and used for Count Zero. My review in three words: unlikely heroes abound.

I was explaining my book to my sister, and it felt good to talk it out. I think I'll be doing more talk out with my wife, since she's stuck with me, and well we can't always talk about what she saw on TV at the gym, she might start to think conversations are hers, not shared.

Fyo D 2

I have heard your cries, yesterday's post was not enough.

Here are some more paragraphs taken from The Brothers Karamazov.
This also is from Father Zosima, only now he is preaching on his deathbed. He starts by asking, 'what is a monk?' and I'm going to jump in part way, to the part that piqued my interest. Zosima is speaking.

In this that I think of the monk untrue and presumptuous? Look at the worldly, at those who set themselves above the people of God--have they not distorted the image of God and His truth? They have science, but science contains nothing that does not come through the sense. The spiritual world, the nobler side of man's being, has been rejected altogether, banned as it were triumphantly, perhaps even with hatred. The world has proclaimed freedom, now more loudly than ever; but what do we find in that freedom of theirs? Nothing but enslavement and suicide! The world says: "You have needs--satisfy them. You have as much right as the rich and mighty. Don't hesitate to satisfy your needs; indeed, expand your needs and demand more." This is the worldly doctrin of today. And they believe that this is freedom. The result for the rich is isolation and suicide, for the poor, envy and murder; for while the poor have been handed all these rights, they have not been given the means to enjoy them. Some claim that the world is gradually becoming united, that it will grow into a brotherly community as distances shrink and ideas are transmited through the air. Alas you must not believe that men can be united in this way. To consider freedom as directly dependent on the number of man's requirements and the extent of their immediate satisfaction shows a twisted understanding of human nature, for such an interpretation only breeds in men a multitude of senseless, stupid desires and habits and endless preposterous inventions. People are more and more moved by envy now, by the desire to satisfy their material greed, and by vanity. giving dinners, riding in private carriages, occupying high social positions, and having myriads of servants--these are considered so important by some that they devote their whole lives to acquiring them and sacrifice for their sake their love of their fellow men, and sometimes even kill themselves if they cannot obtain what they believe they must have. It is the same with those who are not rich. And, as to the poor, who cannot satisfy their needs at all, they just drown their envy of others in alcohol. But the way they are being aroused now, it will soon be blood rather than liquor on which they will get drunk. Now let me ask you: Do you really think that such men are free? One "champion of freedom" told me himself that when he was arrested and deprived of tobacco, the privation was so painful to him that he was on the verge of betraying his "cause," just to get something to smoke. And this was a man who said: "I am fighting for mankind!" What can such a man do, though--what is he good for, unless he acts on some sudden impulse? He will never be able to endure pain for the sake of his "cause." So it is not surprising that, instead of freedom, they lapse into slavery, that, instead of promoting unity and brotherhood, they encourage division and isolation, as my mysterious guest and teacher explained to me in my youth. That is why the idea of service to mankind and brotherly love has been dying out in the world; indeed, now it is often sneered at, for what can a man do who has become the slave of the innumerable nees and habits he has invented for himself? He lives in his separate little world and does not care about the great world outside. The result of all this is that, today, when more mateiral goods have been accumulated than ever, there is less joy.

As in the last post, some of the views in the passage sound rather sweeping and extreme to someone like myself, who realizes one can't make statements about all of mankind and safely say that this is the way people are now. On the other hand, it does offer an interesting point of view regarding freedom, the way it is understood today, and I think many of the points made, such as the misconception of what freedom means, the accumulation of wealth and power, which drives people to be actually less free more isolated, and inevitably more desperate.

I find in this passage just one more example of the way in which Dostoevsky's ideas and concepts are truly timeless. This concept applies to mankind in any age.

From the pen of Fyo D.

I should probably do these in order... there are several quotes I'd like to put in as examples of why I enjoyed reading The Brothers Karamazov. In order of appearance as opposed to order of size, alphabetical order, or even in order of preference, since I haven't read the quotes all together recently and couldn't be bothered to rank them.

And by appearance I don't mean the way they look on the page, mean the order in which they appear in the book, my having read from page one onwards.

Alexei is speaking with his mentor, Father Zosima, who is recounting some of his experiences as a younger man. He has recently resigned his commission in the military over a duel. After news of the resignation and why, a wealthy but distant man who lives in the same town starts to visit him, and they have some deep discussions. The visitor says that he agrees with the younger Zosima that everyone is responsible for everyone else. That if people do not think in that way, heaven can never come to be. I liked particularly the comments on isolation. Father Zosima is telling the story to Alyosha.

As he spoke he looked at me and smiled, and I thought he was about to revel something to me.

"Heaven is within reach of every one of us, and now it is within me reach too; if I chose I could have it tomorrow, real heaven, for all my life."

He spoke with fervor and looked at me mysteriously, as if asking something of me.

"As to every man being answerable for everybody and everything, not just for his own sins," he went on, "you are absolutely right about it, and the way you succeeded in grasping that idea so fully, all at once, is really remarkable. It is true that when men understand that idea, the kingdom of God will no longer be a dream but a reality."

"But when do you expect that to happen?" I cried bitterly. "When will it come about, if ever? Perhaps it's just a dream and nothing more."

"So you don't believe yourself, " he answered, "in the things you preach to others. Let me tell you, then, that this dream, as you call it, will most certainly come true. You may rest assured of that, but it will not happen immediately, because everything that happens in the world is controlled by its own set of laws. In this case, it is a psychological matter, a state of mind. In order to change the world, man's way of thinking must be changed. Thus, there can be no brotherhood of men before all men become each other's brothers. There is no science, no order based on the pursuit of material gain, that will enable men to share their goods fairly and to respect each other's rights. There will never be enough to satisfy everyone; men will always be envious of their neighbors and will always destroy one another. So to your question when heaven on earth will come about, I can only promise you that it will come without fail, but first the period of man's isolation must come to an end."

"What isolation?" I asked him.

"The isolation that you find everywhere, particularly in your age. But it won't come to an end right now, because the time has not yet come. Today everyone asserts his own personality and strives to live a full life as an individual. But these efforts lead not to a full life, but to suicide, because, instead of realizing his personality, man only slips into total isolation. For in our age mankind has been broken up into self-contained individuals, each of whom retreats into his lair, trying to stay away from the rest, hiding himself and his belongings from the rest of mankind, and finally isolating himself from people and the people from him. And, while he accumulates material wealth in his isolation, he thinks with satisfaction how mighty and secure he has become, because he is mad and cannot see that the more goods he accumulates, the deeper he sinks into suicidal impotence. The reason fo rthis is that hshas become accustomed to relying only on himself; he has split off from the whole and become an isolated unit; he has trained his soul not to rely on human help, not to believe in men and mankind, and only to worry that the wealth and privileges he has accumulated may get lost. Everywhere men today are turning scornfully away from the ttruth that the security of the individual cannot be achieved by his isolated efforts but only by mankind as a whole.

"But an end to this fearful isolation is bound to come and all men will understand how unnatural it was for them to have isolated themselves from one another. This will be the spirit of the new era and people will look back in amazement at the past, when they sat in darkness and refused to see the light. And it is then that the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the heavens... But until that day we must keep hope alive, and now and then a man must set an example, if only an isolated one, by trying to lift his soul out of its isolation and offering it up in an act of brotherly communion, to keep the great idea alive.

I can tell you there is a huge amount of isolation in the community where I live. People shun one another, not even necessarily out of fear, but out of habit, not questioning their own actions, assuming it's for good reason, vaguely reminding themselves on occasion that the world is getting worse.

The world is getting worse, it is a result of thinking that 'everything is permitted' which by the way is a recurring theme in the book. People these days seem to have seriously adopted that mentality, that everything is permitted, and the isolation and unfriendliness is really distrust and suspicion; they feel justified in acting however they want though it may encroach on others, and they fear reproach. Because everything is permitted, who are you to reproach me?

Feet in shoes

I have some more quotes from the Karamazov brothers, but I'll have to fill those in later, as well as my thoughts on those quotes.

On the way here, I realized in a more conscious way the fact that I don't like to see shoes that cover the tips of a woman's toe and don't cover the whole toe. The result is a series of small lines created by the seam between each toe. I'm not sure what's exactly irritating but I think it's something to do with the visual flow: a smooth shoe and a smooth foot and even a smooth line transitioning colored shoe to skin-colored foot all interrupted and crosscut by these small creases.
Edit: I added a visual aid. Let me add something else, in the example shown here we also have squish-outyness, which are also distasteful in their own way. Note: I stole the photo without permission. I have low morals in that regard--if I get caught I will only be sorry I got caught and not sorry I did it.

I was thinking a rather deep thought while entering my building this morning, and now I can't remember what it was. Oh yes.. I remember it had to do with my reading, about God and the devil, in the book. I was thinking about the erosion of my testimony (this is the term Mormons use for their faith in God) and I wondered whether and pretty much believed that it was possible that I might come full circle in my old age. Ah I remember now, I was thinking about my possibly racist comment yesterday to two black women that the 'abos' filled in for black people with the rap and the hopped up cars (I didn't say the graffiti and the hairdos). Immediately felt like moving on to another topic.. Anyway I was reviewing the incident in my mind this morning, and I thought about how cultured and proper I had learned to be in college and here I am reverting. It was at that point I wondered whether I would come full circle in time and become religious conservative again.

Ivan Karamazov

Ivan made me cry today, while talking with his brother Alexei. He gives several examples of cruelty to children, to make a point. I hate reading about cruelty to children, or hearing about it, or seeing it.

Ivan first addresses suffering and who is to blame:

All that my puny Euclidean, earthling's mind can grasp is that there is such a thing as suffering, that no one can be blamed for it, that quite uncomplicatedly cause precedes effect, that everything that flows finds its proper level--but then all that is just Euclidean gibberish, and, being aware of that fact, I cannot agree to live by it! What good does it do me to know that no one is to blame, that every effect is determined by a cause, which itself is an effect of some other cause and so on, and that, therefore, no one should ever be blamed for anything? For, even though I may know it, I still need retribution.

The next point Ivan makes is that there's no way to atone for the suffering of an innocent child. There's no way that by children suffering some imbalance is corrected. It is not just. A mother couldn't forgive her son's torturer on his behalf.

He then asks his brother Alexei if he would build an edifice of human destiny so that men would finally be happy and would find peace and tranquility, only the edifice is built on the torture of just one of these innocent children.

At that point, Alexei brings up the one person who could do the forgiving required. This is the segue into the famous story of the Grand Inquisitor. I actually have the story as a pamphlet, probably for school study, but I understand it better now, having the conversation that leads up to Ivan's point about Christ's relationship to the people. It has more meaning for me now.

Voting

I have decided that if I did vote (were it not pointless to do so), I would vote for the candidate with the most money. Sad, though, that the choice is taken from me in the primaries, i.e. suppose the richest Dem didn't win the primary and would have beat out the richest GOP.

Iranian in New York

This morning on my commute I had to change the station. Actually I changed the station, then put the CD back on. I'm so glad I have music I like.

On the radio, before I changed the station, I was listening to NPR's version of events from last night's address from Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and was saddened not only by the way he was treated by the spineless university president, spineless because of the way he caved in to negative sentiment, and saddened by the so called recap of events. The presentation was extremely down on the Iranian president, gave him no credit for coming here, and downplayed any intelligent answers he may have given to questions that address his difference of belief, such as on the Holocaust or homosexuals. I suppose it was as though an atheist was looking at a believer in God, and feeling nothing but scorn.

I thought Time magazine's article was interesting, it emphasized the fact that he faces a tough election at home (despite being called a dictator - in a spineless attempt to associate him with Hitler and make him the evil ruler of our time), and that his words were really directed to his home audience. I can't say that point of view doesn't have merit, and is an interesting spin.

To get on my soapbox for a moment, I wonder who doesn't listen for the spin when they are watching, or listening to, or reading news. I imagine most people can't hear spin that agrees with them, like an accent that one has grown up with, but how many people realize how much has to be left out, and how the news can decide to phrase events which puts one side in a better light than the other.

And then there are the people who take these headlines seriously. If nothing they are good for a laugh, right? Unless of course you're Peter Fallow.

Karamazov

Now reading Dostoevsky's classic. Strangely, I don't find it gripping, and I don't find it very relevant to me. I think the madness within the book is somewhat irrelevant to me now. I blame my slow slide into mediocrity and my tumble against practicality for the fact that this book seems less resonant than when I picked it up the first time. The first time, granted, I thought everything resonated with me, I tried to get into the spirit of whatever it was, and now my spirit is tired of contorting itself. My mind realizes what most people already know, and that is that you are only one thing, composed of many little things, but essentially one thing. I still haven't found what that thing is that I am, but I think it's a step in the right direction to recognize that I am one thing. I am at heart static. The more I change (as the saying goes) the more I stay the same.

Back to the book however. I'll include a quote. This is the part where Smerdyakov actually speaks up and starts to argue about a story that Gregory has told, which he got from the butcher. Old Karamazov foreshadows Ivan's control over Smerdy by saying that he's really doing it to impress Ivan. Karamazov is delighted and calls Smerdyakov 'Balaam's ass.' After Smerdyakov makes the argument that a man, being forced to renounce his Christianity may do so because just when that man considers doing it God strips him of his salvation, therefore he isn't renouncing anything, Karamazov jumps in and without much effort and primarily for the fun of it slaps him down. He first refers to the fact that Smerdyakov believes there are maybe two people who could move a mountain, and Karamazov remarks that it's 'very Russian' to make that statement:

"Those words of yours, Balaam's ass, are worth their weight in gold, and I'll see to it that you get a gold piece today. But as for the rest, you're full of wind and nonsense. For your information, you fool, the reason we generally lack faith is that we refuse to give it much serious thought. We're much too busy. first of all, we're too much involved in our personal affairs; and secondly, God hasn't given us enough time for it: with twenty-four hours in the day we can't even get enough sleep, let alone repent our sins. But when you give up your faith under torture, you do it at a time when you have nothing else to do but thing about that faith of yours, and that is just the proper time to stand up for it! And so it does constitute a sin, doesn't it, my good man?"

There is actually a bit a little later in which Old Karamazov says that there hasn't yet been a woman repulsive to him. Every woman he says, has some quality that makes her wonderful. I used to feel that way, I used to be able to relate to that, but I have decided that people are really not so remarkable, and that Karamazov is really demonstrating the fact that his penis does his thinking for him, for a penis is only interested in fleshy orifices of any shape, size, or upkeep.

Voting in '08

Not that I vote, but I wonder if anyone realizes that Obama would likely be very focused on domestic issues, such as welfare and social security and who knows what else, more so than international issues. As a newbie, and as a black man, it's unlikely he would know the dance steps on the international stage. I think he would fail in that way, and in the way that Hillary would probably not fail: that is to maintain the American agenda abroad. If you can't be a good diplomat (Nixon has China, Carter has Camp David Accords, and Reagan has the Berlin Wall), at least carry on with America's Agenda in the Middle East and China, and it's unlikely he will know those dance steps either.

I think it's clear he would be a good face and a good smile, and lots of words, scattered carefully to make as many people happy as possible, but in the end result, who can really back him? Big companies would be silly to, and anyone but special interest groups would be silly to as well. Unless there's something uneducated me doesn't know about how well he's doing in the back rooms of government.

Dodge Caliber

Does anyone else notice how the Dodge Caliber looks rather 'military'? I know it's not propery Engrish to put the quote inside the '?' but when it's only one word and it's not part of the overall sentence I think it belongs the way I have it. The Caliber makes me wonder what other vehicles Americans have to choose from that also look rather jeep-like or tank-like.

I've noticed for a while now the strange phenomenon in which the sides of the cars seem to get taller in the side, the windows smaller, and only after thinking about the Caliber and militaristic design, I wonder if the effect isn't tank like overall. Case in point is the Dodge Charger/Magnum (another Dodge I know), Toyota Camry, Honda Civic, & Chevy Cobalt.

Compare these to an old BMW from the 60's. Very different approach to the automobile.

The Bonfire

Now I'm reading The Bonfire of the Vanities, enjoyable so far, I've only met the characters, shared in their lives somewhat, and where I'm reading now is the first connection between two separate (until now) characters.

Reading about the trading floor has been the most interesting so far. As an almost budding writer, the level of detail is intimidating, as is the level of detail in the Bronx courthouse. It's as though the author has first hand experience of these places, and the goings on there. Not only that, but that the author was privy to the inner workings.

I want to include an excerpt that is so totally ME, that it makes me wonder how common my thoughts and ways really are. One of the characters has been involved in a hit and run, and is fretting over the fact that he didn't report it.

And even as he quaked with fear of such a ctastrophe, he knew he was letting himself wallow in it for a superstitious reason. If you consciously envisioned something that dreadful, then it couldn't possibly take place, could it... God or Fate would refuse to be anticipated by a mere mortal, wouldn't He... He always insisted on giving His disasters the purity of surprise, didn't He... And yet--and yet-- some forms of doom are so obvious you can't avoid them that way, can you! One breath of scandal--

I have honestly used this technique to calm myself, by envisioning the events I am afraid of and then assuring myself that now that I'm already anticipating it and I have it all worked out in my head, there's now no way things will go down the way I fear.

Silence

I've read Silence and there's a quote from the prologue, the translater is talking about the author, and I just haven't gotten around to quoting that bit in here.

Why am I even taking the time to say I haven't found the time? I want to be more regular on the blog. Daily even.

More on Hair

I've been procrastinating writing anything, mostly because I know there are more important things to be doing. On the other hand sometimes those more important things don't get done either because I'm avoiding and procrastinating. At occasional moments in the day I'll remind myself, 'what better way to procrastinate, than to procrastinate doing something you -also- need to be doing but is in theory easier.' I say in theory because there must be something difficult about writing in my blog, I don't just do it on a regular basis, I avoid, I wait, I forget, etc.

One thing I wanted to write last week was on one of the recurring topics here, that of hair. I saw a girl with a ponytail, and the hair itself would have been best described as 'ropy.' I don't know if ropy is a word, I'm sure it is by now, but it looked like.. not exactly rope, but maybe untwisted rope, so that there were wavy clumps hanging down together. I really liked the look, and realized that it wasn't the first time I'd seen it. I'd seen it before, but I think what brought it out to me was the pony tail PLUS the ropyness. Once I noticed it my mind then connected it to several other heads of hair I admired, and realized that I'd seen this ropy look, not just in ponytails, but in other styles as well, hanging down, partially pinned back, and definitely in conjunction with the forehead cap look.

About mysefl

You may not think mysefl is a word, but I just made it one.

I was reading/catching up as much as small time allowed over on dooce.com, a fact that I don't like to admit, honestly, it's just too depressing to read a blog that is that fun to read, and here my blog languishes.

I haven't even kept up with reports on my reading. I completed Neuromancer and decided it really only needs a short bit of praise from me:

There's a reason it's won all those awards, yes it is good, I suggest sci fi fans read it if they have any respect for themselves.

I will go beyond that original thought, and offer my version of the gist of the book: An unlikely hero is recruited for a cyberspace mission, and along the way meets a distant but inevitably in-love-with-him female who disappears at the end of the book. The detail is very good. What I noticed throughout was the almost painful dedication to the first person narrative, everything taking place from the perspective of the hero, to the point where certain technological advances are invented for the sole purpose of maintaining that tack.

Back to dooce.com for a sec, I also like the layout etc, and how the entries are laid out colored, set apart, you know that aesthetic stuff. I just don't have the time or energy to learn how to make my blog right. I wonder if I worked through typepad, and got myself a space out there I would have better luck looking like I want? Probably but again, time investment is required.

I have to get some stuff done here at work, so that's the end of this one. I didn't even get to talk about myself, which was the whole reason for the entry, talking about oneself being what Heather does.

About Writing

Here's a great quote from my reading this morning on copyblogger:

You write to communicate to the hearts and minds of others what’s burning inside you. And we edit to let the fire show through the smoke. ~Arthur Polotnik

This is kindof a cool concept, it really makes sense to me especially because I used to be horribly stream-of-consciousness, and now since my job, which consists of writing nothing but businesslike emails, and seeing amazing standards of terseness, to the point of actually lacking necessary information, I continually edit for brevity and clarity.

How will my two modes actually coexist in my writing? This remains to be seen. Obviously.

My wife commented off hand that with the revelation that my brother in law writing a book, she wanting to write a book, and the common knowledge that I have a itch to write as well, --something about 'delusional' or 'silly' but now I can't think of the word, it was over the weekend. It was apt, sometimes she comes out with really cool stuff.

Consumery

Today's topic: The items I want.
Today walking from the metro to my cube in the cube on the block, I was obsessing, just mildly, if one can obsess mildly, about my next purchase in the carryall arena. I also came up with a great retort for my co-worker's snide comment, "You headed to school?" I carry a backpack which holds laptop and paper equally well. My retort, approximately 21 hours too late is, "No, cause then I'd have my briefcase."

Back to carreyall carryall territory: I'd get a Crumpler bag. I think the Timbuk 2 bags are 1) way too popular, and 2) I'd spend hours trying to decide what three colors to use. I think I added Crumpler to my Amazon wish list, there for all to see and buy for me. The link is at the right, right now.

And then I grew introspective after having noticed my mildly obsessive fixation on having a Crumpler bag, well before it's needed, since my Jansport is probably still good for another 2-3 years at least, and I saw a small unimportant pattern in my life of fixating on certain things and simply having to have them. This pattern, however, clearly, doesn't predict that I will actually fully and completely like the item fixated on, but I tend to think that yes I will like, while I want and don't yet have. This non-predictive relationship between my wants/fixations and my actual satisfaction with the product leads me to wish I didn't fixate on things, since much of those thoughts are a waste of time and eventually probably a waste of money.

I just thought of something else I will probably ponder thoughtlessly: Rayban Wayfarers. They're coming after this aviator craze is over, and after the blowfly look has gone. I want to be ahead of the curve. But for what? Just to have them? Just to BE ahead of the curve? No, not really, I've always thought it was a cool look. The wife says I shouldn't get black, it's too harsh.

Next topic: wearing wayfarer-shaped glasses, and looking somewhat 60's retro, and me, in front of a meeting of serious people, expecting them to take me seriously.

Public Awareness

I was reading this article, which was in my feed from NYT, and was intrigued by this quote, in which a professor at Penn State is talking about grabbing the public's attention and focusing it on an issue. I think the quote or the idea behind it can easily be generalized to include any effort to raise public awareness or garner media attention.
via
Sex crimes became a media sensation. Though the overwhelming majority of offenses against kids — 80 percent to 90 percent — are committed by someone the victim knows, the news media focused on the rare and very chilling rapes and murders of young girls by strangers. Children as sex offenders became the next obvious step in our national anxiety about sex crimes, Philip Jenkins, author of “Moral Panic: Changing Concepts of the Child Molester in Modern America” and a professor of religious studies and history at Pennsylvania State University, told me. “First it’s adult predators, and then it’s what about children? To draw attention, you have to up the ante. The issue moves up a notch, and you can’t move it back easily.”

Purple Cow

Right now I'm reading Purple Cow by Seth Godin. I got it in some ways to encourage my wife, (see her website in my list of links) in the area of marketing. I'd read The Big Moo, Godin's follow up book, before reading this one, and I think the moo was better than the cow, in some ways, since this book is clearly aimed at marketing execs and medium-large companies.

That's not to say the book doesn't translate to smaller companies or entrepreneurs, the author isn't so untalented, nor is he so apathetic to a potential market that he wouldn't include some good small examples, but the majority of the stories, examples, and advice are about and aimed at big businesses with big budgets, the people who make ads for television and print, as well as in some part those who use the internet to advertize.

I'm about half way maybe more than half way, and it's good reading, even for me the casual dabbler in cashie jobs. I don't have a quote from the book this time, but it's really short and an easy read. I'd encourage anyone to read it, if nothing else for the ability to make conversation with business suits.

I just started patching my neighbor's ceiling (and I'm charging way too little). She had an electrician install a new ceiling fan, not only in her living room, but also in her bedroom. He used a blunt tool to make a thin breach leading to the fan, and I find myself going along with a blade and cutting a straight strip so my patching job is made a little easier.

Kleptocracy

The other word I really enjoyed, same book as the one I've been reading, is kleptocracy. Its roots are obvious and I don't know how much in use it is, but it really and truly describes the federal system of taxation in my mind. A government based on stealing. Of course, our government also interferes, charges additional fees, and gives back next to nothing, especially someone in my position, middle class and barely making my mortgage payment. Not that I'm complaining, there are some who are much worse off than I am. But honestly, how much nicer is it to have no obligation to line anyone's pockets with your cash. In that way homelessness looks attractive.

I would never want to be homeless, however, because I don't want some other homeless person to piss on my head while I'm asleep and then tell me I'm in her spot.

Hubris

Today's word comes from my current reading, but could have come from any number of books:
Hubris
Which means:
Excessive pride displayed by a character and often taking the form of a boastful comparison of the self to the divine, the gods, or other higher powers--often also resulting in harsh punishment.
As of now I'm not competent with this word, I would have difficulty incorporating into my writing, but it's really kindof a neat word.

I was enjoying the sound of another word, just yesterday but it slips my mind.

Dark Age

Back to book reviews and penses on my latest reading material.
Before I get into that, I was recommended to read "The Place Near Kolob" or some book of that type of title. I pretended to be interested. Is that bad?

Jane Jacobs, in her last book, Dark Age Ahead takes the opportunity in her last years of life to tell what she thinks will happen to 'North America' which is really USA/Canada if certain problems are not corrected. There are times, while reading the book, in which I find myself agreeing, and there are times I find myself unable to agree, because I don't have much experience with what she describes. There are arguments which she made previously in her more well known book, The Death and Life of Great American Cities, written before she went to Canada and while she lived in New York City.

I actually didn't know she was dead until I looked her up in Wikipedia to see whether Dark Age Ahead was her last book or not. It was her last book, she passed away just over a year ago.

As usual I'd like to include an excerpt where I think she makes an excellent point:

Everyone needs entrées into networks of acquaintances for practical as well as social purpohses. Think what hte adults in a nuclear family--just two of them--areexpected by society to provide:

Knowledge and experience sufficient to use simple home remedies in cases of trivial illnesses or wounds, and--more important--the ability to judge correctly and quickly when ills or wounds are too serious for home remedies, maybe even life-threatening. Ability to tutor children needing help with homework. Ability to be a soccer mom and a hockey dad. Skill and tact at training children to shun drugs and to be cautios of strangers but not to mistrust everybody. Ability to purchase responsibly, make bill and tax payments, and in general handle money realistically in spite of blandishments to gamble or become profligate. Bake ordinary home and equipment repairs and keep abreast of maintenance chores. Deal knowledgeably with banks and bureaucracies. Pull a fair share of family weight in community betterment efforst and neighborhood protection. Deal civilly with people whose upbringing, cultures, and personalities are at odds wiht the traditions and customs of one's own nuclear family, and teach children to be both cosmopolitan and tolerant. Without this last ability, nuclear familys can be irreparably torn asunder when relationships develop between their children and lovers from other ethnic or religious backgrounds or, if the family is very stodgy, simply from other educational or income groups.

Who are the paragons that, unaided and unadvised, can earn a living and also provide all this and more? Few of them exist.

She talks at some length about losing what the previous generation had already worked out. It makes sense to me, that the good knowledge seems to be flushed away with that bad, during upheavals and overthrows of culture. The way she describes and at the same time warns reveals a thinking mind, one that has had time to put the problem into words succinctly and in many ways, accurately. The book retains much of its punch because the author doesn't venture far into areas she does not know.

Homophobe

I don't know why it's a big deal in my mind, but I've been thinking off and on what's the big deal with me and my homophobia. It's not as bad as my fear of being so desperate that I'd take a job dressed as a mascot on the street (which can't be overcome by being rich and then doing it on a lark, the key here is truly having bottomed out, but that's another discussion). I really enjoy Blondie, especially their early stuff, not that I was remotely aware of her, or the whole 'scene' when I was young, this is me catching up.
Anyway, I was reading stuff and eventually wound up on debbieharry.com, and there was reference to an article about her tour, here, where she says:

"I don't care what kind of sexuality people have, as long as they're decent human beings and they treat each other with respect."

and I thought, I hope I can get to that point, in today's world. But honestly I really don't want my son to be gay, nor would I want any of his teachers to be gay, nor would I want him to be accepting of homosexuality as though it were natural and normal. That's one of my biggest gripes, is that is still feel that there's huge dishonesty about whether it's in-born. If they were just honest about it and admitted that it was a lifestyle that appealed to someone who was essentially choosing to be gay, then I think I could at least feel there wasn't pretense at work, pretense to make a lifestyle legitimate.

While in an Airplane

While our plane was circling, waiting for clearance to land in Atlanta, the sun had sunk low enough to cast a shadow of the tailfin onto the wing on my side of the plane.

Upon seeing this shadow I instantly imagined I was that shadow, spread on the frictionless, handleless slope.

I felt vertigo and fear of death. I felt desperate.

After that tingle of panic I enjoyed being the shadow slipping off the wing of a plane at 20,000 feet. I watched it slide off, inevitably, as the plane turned, and yet the tip most shadow hung on, like a flipper, a moment longer, a moment that made the shadow even more me and then I let go, disappearing somewhere between 20,000 and 0.

Handwriting

If you click the title above, it will take you to the entry on Kosmo blog, a deaf blogger who suggests a new meme, posting your handwriting. Great idea, says I.

Well I have the image scanned, but blogger is having issues.
Temporary link

Jobs and Karan

Whoa, I was just surfing, and hit upon Seth Godin's slideshow about Ideavirus. The slide that hit me was number 58, "Fashion editors know the zeitgeist and guess the future."

What I wouldn't give to know the zeitgeist and guess the future.

In a Hurry

I'm in a great hury to sell my soul to the devil and leave an imprint on the world. However, I have nothing with which to leave an imprint.

I will write, but nothing short of The Fountainhead or War and Peace will do.

What skills do I have? None. What skills do I want to have? All of them.

Swishy Pants

Today I saw an old man wearing a patterned shirt and a pair of swishy black pants. Upon seeing the swishy pants, I thought of dancing, I thought of the pants that some of my dancing friends or acquaintances had, and the way they flapped with energy.

I was then down hearted. I saw an advert looking for a dance instructor, volunteer, to teach swing or salsa (to novices), and I asked my wife if we should do it. She did not say yes. In her usual manner, she gave no answer. I felt a small anger and in anger I felt she had no ambitions. I softened some, and thought about her life, looking after two small children. I wondered if she would ever be free of them if she isn't free now.

I live in hope, but occasionally I find hope lies dormant and faithlessness or fear as well as anger and yanking to get out of the box I find myself in. I feel sometimes trapped, but I also feel that I can only emerge slowly and organically from this/these fetter/s.

It's really the Matrix

Who cares if there's actually a human brain in the machine? It's basically the Matrix, I realized, as I rode in to work today taking notes. I was going to get into the brain chemical evolution, the slow integration of machine into human body, the descent into machinery and the removal of all aesthetic requirement.

I finished reading WE, and it really is an amazing book, especailly from the time and place in which it was written. I recommend it as a must read; it's one of the few times I'd actually link to a store. I couldn't do Amazon, but then again, if this blog still exists a year from now and someone stumbles upon it, will the link still work? I think it doesn't matter because all links are ultimately perishable. Ebay/Half.com is a compromise, since it still has a glimmer of the original intent, that is, an online yard sale of sorts which to me is one of the best uses of the internet I can think of. Not to say Amazon isn't also a great site, it's just almost all book, movie, and music links are to that site. I zig where I can.

As the novel I would write and now probably won't started to form in my mind, I saw the accidental discovery of time travel and the introduction of a possiblilty that records could be better completed by traveling back in time. A delegation goes back and obtains better records. They arrive just as the last humans are hunted down. These humans have a piece of history not previously known because in their despair, at their extinction, they destroyed them. These time travelers were able to gain a copy because they were much more interested than the 'people/machines' that lived at that time.

In order to tell the long and evolutionary tale of humanity's descent, however, I realized I would have to tell it in vignettes, much the way the Animatrix short films did. Then I realized I was creating a world much like the world of the machines, only humans were not batteries, and the robots had human brains. I wonder if eventually the human brains would have been phased out as well, as technology improved. I would be a human conceit to assume that would not happen.

Also, in my mind, I had to justify the move into this direction. Again I ran up against Animatrix, because essentially the only driver I could think of was cheap, efficient labor in a capitalist society. This spawns entire projects to create the most efficient and least needy worker- primarily mechanical. Less emphasis is placed on art.

But then people must have the irrational, the artistic, the spiritual. Think of the world of Akira. There was a techno futuristic mystic and people followed him. Would this eventually cross into machinery?

The justification question is never answered in WE, it is only assumed that mechanization of human being is the best way to live. It is assumed that the Table of Hours, regimented schedule, and single minded compliance to the Benefactor is the best way to live. It is dictated to D-503 and he whole heartedly believes it. There is no 'why.' What WE doesn't and perhaps cannot explore is the rulers above him, the government that sets the rules, the system that pushes him round and round in a revolving pocket of air.

In writing about the Matrix I'm slightly reassured by the fact that in my world, the machines don't liquidate humans nor use them as batteries. However, the bodies are discarded once the brain is formed enough.

Also, as one of my characters, a leading character I want to use the name of the Nazi scientist who was Jewish and yet created the gas that would kill millions of Jews. This was written about in The Omnivore's Dilemma

Also, as a final note, this book will not be The Rise of the Machines, or at least, not the rise of the evil machines. There's always the robot gone evil scenario, but I want this theoretical course of history to be the stifling of humanity, and slow and consistent until eventually the descent is complete and there are no humans, no mistakes, and a contingency plan for everything.

In essence this novel is about me. My descent from feral to sophisticated. My great fear in doing so. My great fear of the unknown only because it is unknown and more so because it is desirable. Why it is desirable I'll not go into here.

Brain only required

The human brain was the only thing they couldn't replace, or hadn't replaced yet.

The first line in my new story, or the story I haven't written yet but resides in my head. This story is about some mid-future (as opposed to far-future) timeframe in which humans have, through the process of time, replaced all body parts including head, with mechanics, all but the brain. Also evolved is the physical body in which the brain resides. I'm sure this idea has been done before. I may have even read about it somewhere and this 'idea' is only a regurgitation of the original, long dormant and out of context. If someone does know of a source where this idea was written about, do let me know. And I don't mean CS Lewis' version, where a disembodied head is kept alive by scientists.

I'm thinking of piggybacking off my wife's site and putting the full text there. Once it's written of course.

Commonplace Emotion, Novel Experience

For the first time in my life, and I'm not young, I realized I'm experiencing (rather, have experienced and will probably again) the feeling of being intimidated by someone else. It's shocking to me, this realization. At the same time, I feel a little closer to the human race at this moment.

Some little woman's hair

This post is another one about my little hair fetish.. This morning I got off the bus and walked to the metro station, and ahead of me, I think from the same bus, was a little head of hair, on a short woman, whom I assumed was Hispanic or Latina, whichever is correct, and it's a ripple of black hair going down her back and waving a little at the end, in rhythm with her steps.

I know the hair isn't rippling and waving at me; it doesn't intend to hold my attention, but all the way through the gates and up the escalator there is no other thought but to memorize the hair covering this woman's head and part of her shoulders and back.

Along the way I caught glimpses of a porcelain cheek and magnet dust eyelashes. Not Hispanic or Latina. Probably not even pretty.

The hair, from my point of view, hung, starting at the top of the head, parted from middle front to middle crown, and hanging in ripples, reaching for the curve of the back between buttocks and shoulder bow. The sides prevented from reaching, but hair along the spine slid further, and the overall effect was a (blurry) V shape.

I could have obsessed for hours. I already have.

Turkey

Turkey was bombed or something this week. They instantly call it a terrorist attack. Ok maybe it is... my insider friend from Europe also had something to say about Turkey, U.S.-base of operations there, etc: Turkey wants for Kurds not to have their own state, even though that region of Iraq right now is not governed/governable. If this is true, that the U.S. and Turkey have an agreement that there will be no separate state of the northern section of Iraq allowed, this sheds an interesting light on the current situation. The bombings that recently occurred (and the HUGE national reporting on it) make Turkey such an injured party that it will be easy to rush to their side and keep our side of the bargain against Turkey's threateners.

That's all for now.

Nemesis

I am reading Nemesis by Isaac Asimov, as mentioned in another post. I haven't really presented my take on the book, and I shall do so here.

Surprising to me are the number of characters the author uses. I don't think this was one of his strongest or most hailed books, or if it was, it wasn't because he wove a complex tale of multiple people. I sense the lack of participation on the part of scientists, workers, government people, settlers, etc, since they're all lumped together.

I do enjoy, however the logic and reasoning in the book. I've often tried to place a reasonable, logical train of thought into words, via email, and it takes me brain time to craft the sentence, and the most frustrating thing about that is that the sentence looks perfectly normal. In this case, I'm enjoying the author's depth of thought into why this will happen and why this else won't happen. The political pushes and pulls that are demonstrated along the plot, either in explanation or through actions are neatly stitched, so that the reader has no trouble gliding down the pages.

Synopsis: (I realize many of my reviews don't include synopses, or if they do they're very limited. In this case it's a little easier because this is a relatively short and pointed work of fiction, at least compared to some of the other books I've read, and easier to summarize. I of course can only summarize to the point where I have read.) Technology on Earth has developed to the point where people have built space stations to orbit earth, and they are big enough to house entire neighborhoods with bulidings, streets, shops, and gardens. The floating neighborhoods are called Settlements, and they look down on dirty mixed up earth. On one station, Rotor, where much of the action of the story takes place, they have discovered the ability to partially move through hyperspace. They have also discovered a star closer than Alpha Centauri. They go there and establish themselves. Everyone else who are back on Earth or orbiting Earth wonder where they've gone and start to peice the puzzle together. Throughout the story is a girl named Marlene who is enthralled by the new world they discover.

There's actually a LOT about Marlene, such that it almost becomes tiresome how long it's taking for the big Marlene reveal at the end, if there is one.

In all, it's a page turner, and a good one. I'm sorry to say I was never a fan of Asimov till now, but I'll now gladly join the ranks of those who like his work. I take the tack that if I can like one book, I can count myself a fan in general.

More book stuff - industry

I'm still pondering the scenario in which my book will take place.

I'm reading wikipedia's version of social contract here. Reading about these concepts of general will and sovereignity remind me that even captialism is limited by what the masses will accept. Either corporations will succeed in dumbing down the masses a la Idiocracy, or that book about a world where everyone is implanted with a brain scrambler that keeps them stupid (anyone know the book? I'll add it later if I find it and if I don't forget). The former case doesn't really demonstrate malicious intent by either government or industry, and the latter case is primarily government as the agent, but the concepts could be used.

So that led me down the track of labor unions as a check against the power of corporations. I admit I'm just not a fan of unions. They're effective as a check against a company's power to use and abuse its employees, but it does not promote productivity and if anything from the stories I've heard, often deters productivity. I also don't know and don't want to know that much about unions, so they couldn't figure very prominently in my scenario.

My next thought was a benevolent mogul of some kind, in the vein of Rockefeller, or Carnegie, or Gates (modern version) who either intentionally or unintentionally crushes a middle-poor family (my Krug) through his actions.

Now granted this whole scenario is entirely plausible without using the world of Jennifer Government, and without any new sci-fi technology, but all that just adds to the fun, I wouldn't want to leave it out.

If I went this direction, I think, rather than making a straightforward sci-fi novel, I'd want more of a cyberpunk feel to it, the narrator would be someone like Hiro Protagonist. But then that would leave the Adam Krug convention. I wonder if I could write in more than one type of central character/narrator/events-happen-to-er?

I need to read another Nabokov, I made the mistake of looking up Krug's name, since I couldn't remember it off the top of my head, and Amazon being the wise servant it is, suggested other Nabokov books, which I can't read right now, but want to.

I'll have to hurry and finish Nemesis

My book - Gov't vs Industry P.S.

I think I need to read what Hobbes or Locke have to say about the social contract.

I also think thatthere has to be some enforcement of the law, whether it's by the government or by private corporations. But how would private corporations do it? Would they form a consortium, run by the big companies, elected to office from among their ranks? Would they build (or buy existing) jails? It starts to sound like re-inventing the wheel.

Since re-inventing the wheel is not the most cost effective option, I suppose it would be better for industry to work through the existing government infrastructure... OMG this is what they're doing now!

My book - Gov't vs Industry

Here's an idea. Jennifer Government was already in a place where the government no longer had any power, to the extent that investigations are privately funded by the victim. What about the process or a slice of the process of getting to that point? Government, ever more mired down by paperwork and the 'acquisition process' becomes less and less capable of 'governing' and industry becomes more and more powerful and ungovernable.

This train of thought led me to think on what government exactly does. In my mind I see two roles. 1) redistributing wealth, and 2) creating/enforcing the law. The redistribution of wealth via the IRS also requires law enforcement, so maybe #2 comes first and #1 is a corollary, since laws have been crafted which are intended to redistribute wealth. If I go below the federal level, we start to get into useful things like maintenance of roads and education, not that federal funds don't finance such things, but on a federal level I think it's possible to see that as redistribution of wealth.

I just realized I also left out 3) National defense.

Taking #2 and #3 together, we have essentially a federal government with the main goal of manufacture and deployment of law enforcement and soldiers, with the necessary array of weapons.

Question: will weapons ever be in serious jeopardy of being held up by the acquisitions process? I don't think so, becaue acquisitions are primarily slowed at the technology development stage. Once an item has attained production, and is being produced, or I would daresay has already been produced, the amount of approvals required are minimal, and this item, be it a tank or a gun, can be produced as long as the government has money.

I think the acquisition process won't necessarily bring the federal government down. I've just reasoned that one through. So if in my book I want to present a plausible scenario in which the government is unable to bear its own weight and capitalism holds sway in the extreme, what scenario would cause Krug the most grief, not in a police state but in a money state.

Waxing Political: Iran

I have a friend who works in Europe, and recently visited with him. We got into politics a little, and I completely agreed with him that Bush was a terrible president. He talked some about Iran, and said that China and Russia were the reaons the U.S. no longer has an overtly hostile intent to use military force, because China gets their oil from Iran, as does Russia. Something to that effect. I didn't fully understand the argument, and even said so to him, that we the regular folks don't get that perspective here. But it's planted a seed of curiosity in me, so in my free time I read up on China, oil, and Iran to see if I could find information related to China telling (not asking) the U.S. to back down. He also added that China can threaten because so many U.S. dollars are in their foreign currency reserves, the result of an imbalance of trade.

More as I think about it... does anyone have comments, or information that puts me closer to the truth?

Kids in Book

Readers, or should I say reader, since I only know for sure at this point that I am reading this and possibly no one else ever. On the other hand, I don't have to be that optimistic to make readers plural, since the plural only requires one other person on the planet to read this iotb accurate.

I've summarily decided that there will be children in this yet to be written novel/story of mine. I've also decided that a majority of them will do normal children things, which I have observed in my own children. I'm reading Nemesis by Isaac Asimov, and I give him props for including children in his story, one of which is almost telepathic in her ability to use her Admiral Akbar eyes and read body language. I also hark back to Ender's Game which I haven't read in a long time, which features all kinds of children, two of which are killed by Ender, but that's beside the point. I might include a kid of super abilities, but I'd prefer not to, and in the end I think if I do, the kid will have to die suddenly and unexpectedly. Unexpectedly is sudden almost by definition, at least when reading, but is suddenly also unexpected? I don't think so, since a death could be foreshadowed but then happen suddenly.

I think the most logical ways in which a child could die are: falling into something like wet cement or the ocean, or a lot of air under which is a hard surface like a rock or sidewalk; eating something bad and not good for you; or parents not paying the ransom. I'm still sad that the guy really did die in the movie The Clearing but the betrayal of basic human trust carried so much more impact.

Dystopian Capitalist

My book: Still wanting to write about the dystopian capitalist future, a la Jennifer Government. See also my post on Orgarden City. I've started reading Asimov's Nemesis just to get a sense for future writing, exposure to scifi from one of the acknowledged greats. I didn't ever read him, because one book I read of his, I could not understand very well. Of course I didn't understand Faulkner either, but the style was enough to keep my interest. Bradbury on the other hand has a great concept in Fahrenheit 451 but I could not get past his style. I won't be reading Bradbury. Asimov on the other hand is relatively accessible in the book I'm reading, and actually I'd be interested to find the book I read as a teen which was so confusing the first time around. I think it was one of the Foundation books, but I don't know.

I also saw Idiocracy last night, from Netflix, and it wasn't absolutely awful. It was a great concept, but admittedly small budget. The atmosphere clearly harks back to Brazil, but the comedy echoes Mad TV (never mind that the leading female is from SNL). There's a great capitalist bit in there about a Gatorade-like product completely replacing water for everything, including watering crops. Then when water is re-introduced, the company's stock goes to zero and its computer automatically lays off its workforce. The fact that the head of that company is played by Thomas Hayden Church is only a reminder that it's been 10 days and I still haven't seen Spidey 3.

The other dystopian future with a capitalism-gone-wrong as a side point was Michael Bay's The Island. There's enough money out there that people can actually buy clones of themselves. The movie never really verged into serious assessment of the morality of whether or not the clones are human beings, nor was it very serious in general, but the idea that money can buy an entirely new functioning body, not only is the height of capitalism (the offer of eternal life) but could be treated seriously in my book. The one I've yet to write.

Sometimes I feel that the best I'll be able to do is a re-hash of what's been done, only mixed a little differently. Where would Star Wars be without the knights of the round table, damsels in distress, and evil tyran lords Lucas used to piece together a fun new tale of intergalactic adventure?

And then I think of Nabokov. Entirely original even in this world of regurgitated concepts. I can see the end result but I (seem to) have no way of getting there. Entirely original? The concept stresses me already.

My new book

If I were to write a book right now, it would probably be entitled "Orgarden City" based on the fac that the two most recent books I've read have been about industrial, organic, and farm grown food; and urban development, castigating Garden City mentality.

I thought, as I walked in from the metro, about people in general, even the ones in 'suburbs' as opposed to the ones in cities, they are probably going to continue to be part of more and more dense populations as time goes on. Jane Jacobs' book will become more and more relevant.

This novel of mine, "Orgarden City" would be a futuristic look, at cities with social ills, and bad food, touted as good food, and bad city planning, touted as 'perfect if only people would do what they're told, not as they'd normally/naturally do.'

Black

I don't know if I already made this rant, but I feel the urge to make it today (again, if that be the case) regarding race. This is slightly related to my earlier post regarding diversity regardless of skin color.

The other day some kids were hanging out behind some buildings where condos hadn't been sold yet, they were right next to, across the ravine from our condos which have been. We told them there had been problems with suspicious people around, and that people often call the police on a moment's notice. As the kids walked away, they muttered something about them being black was why we went and talked to them. I wish I had T-shirts for everyone who is white who is unfortunately compelled to walk on by when asked by a black man for a dollar, or who steps into the escalator ahead of a black person, or who is annoyed, bothered, or discomfited by a black person, "IT'S NOT BECAUSE YOU'RE BLACK." I just feel that often in our society we are on eggshells when it comes to black people, and we have put ourselves there by allowing the ongoing witch hunt for racists. Any time a black person is nabbed by police, for example, it's because of the blackness, it couldn't be because that person was actually breaking the law. I read an article not too long ago, maybe it was a blog, where someone had recently observed a street over a period of time and determined that yes the police were pulling over more blacks than they were whites. Was it entirely because they are black? What if we were talking about Italians and Irish? What if it was because of the type of cars, with the type of paint jobs, and driving habits that caught the attention of the police? What if there were simply more black people breaking the law (I know this insinuation is heresay, since white people could not be more law abiding than blacks), there's just too many factors before the conclusion has to be racism.

Ethnism I can buy, however. It doesn't take a genius to realize that certain cultures, behaviors, practices, moralities, what have you are less conducive to civilized society and therefore prosecuted more aggressively, and disproportionately so depending on what neighborhood you live in.

Ok I'm done with that rant.

Diversity

Question: can diversity be accomplished in a meeting full of white males?

Talk amongst yourselves.

Answer: Yes, diversity can be accomplished in a room full of white males. There are farmers and city slickers, there are gay and straight, there are educated and uneducated, there are engineers and poly sci majors, there are so many different points of view and so many different cultural exposures even within white populations. I just think that too often there's a strong association between the word 'diversity' and the idea of making sure there's at least one or two black people in your meeting/company/school.

Power Symbols

More on power symbols: I put on my red shirt yesterday, it was one of my shirts I'm wearing until it has to be washed and folded. It has a lightning bolt on the front, a copy of The Flash's lightning bolt. In fact, I might have bought the shirt at a comics store in Long Beach. That was 1997. I like the shirt, not to show my affinity for the flash, although I'm sure he's super, but because of the simple, bright and straightforward symbol it is.

This goes back to my (mild) fetish for symbols of power.

I noticed EG&G (the company) has a symbol, and it's not that great. I wonder how much they paid for it. Most corporate symbols to my mind don't convey a lot of power, they're just branding. Although I have to admit, I like Lockheed Martin's star point (just the upper right hand point that usually accompanies their company name. By and large it's branding rather than power that companies are after, so their logos and typeface are boring and office-y. Lockheed Martin is a good example of a company whose power comes from the powerful products they make, especially the military toys. In that sense they're like Coke, where Coke puts a small symbol at the corner of a picture of people enjoying life (we are an integral part of your culture), Lockheed Martin puts a their logo at the bottom of a picture with a supertech weapon, fighter, vehicle, whatever they are building. This is power in a sense too, the military might of a country.

Hillarious Clinton

For those of you who saw my cheap shot at Obambam, I have a cheap shot for the other minority in the race, Hillarious Clinton. The picture was unabashedly stolen from somewhere in the internets, if you do a google image search I'm sure you can find the original.

Also, is anyone else getting that link in their gmail feed about Bill's "girlfriend" who was a legislator in Canada and will move to Detroit or something? What's up with that? Truly random but someone must be paying for it to show up on my screen.

ctrl c ctrl v

To this day I have a fear of typing in long strings for search. Even my short strings are sometimes butterfingered and I have to search again. Since I was first introduced to they keyboard, the <--Backspace has been the single most important key. To this day, I prefer ctrl + C, ctrl + V to search, knowing that I have it exactly as it was in the text.

Omnivore's Dilemma

Back to my penchant for posting quotes from my reading books, there are lots of quotable bits in The Omnivore's Dilemma, but this one, which was in my morning's reading is especially related to the title, and as such probably especially good.

The author goes into the hills above UC Berkeley (he actually said, "the Berkeley Hills" so I assume somewhere around the Berkeley of UC), he went in search of a chanterelle. While I was reading it I had temporarily put a mental sketch of a bird, not knowing what a chantarelle is, not having dined very well, I suppose. It's a mushroom as it turns out (erase orangeish bird, sketch mushroom with orangeish top).

I took the mushroom home, brushed off the soil, and put it on a plate, then pulled out my field guides to see if I c ould confirm the identification. Everything matched up: the color, the faint apricot smell, the asymmetrical trumpet shape on top, the underside etched in a shallow pattern of 'false' gills. I felt fairly confident. But confident enough to eat it? Not quite. The field guide mentioned something called a 'false chanterelle' that had slightly 'thinner' gills. Uh oh. Thinner, thicker: These were relative terms; how could I tell if the gills I was looking at were thin or thick ones? Compared to what? My mother's mycophobic warnings rang in my ears. I couldn't trust my eyes. I couldn't quite trust the field guide. So whom could I trust? Angelo! But that meant driving my lone mushroom across the bridge to San Francisco, which seemed excessive. My desire to saute and eat my first-found changerelle squabbled with my doubts about it, slender as they were. But by now I had passed the point of being able to enjoy this putative chanterelle without anxiety, so I threw it out.

I didn't realize it at the time, but I had impaled myself that afternoon on the horns of the omnivore's dilemma.

Disorientation

A brief entry today about disorientation: I'm starting to enjoy the feeling, somewhat, of looking up from my book at a segment of street seen from the bus window, and not knowing where I am. I believe the initial panic has roots in the past where on many occasions, I've flown past my bus stop unknowingly or even worse, taken the wrong bus. There's also a hint of being on the bus for the first time, and making my eyes and brain ache trying to pick out some clue that tells me I'm on the right track and will get where I am going. This disorientation in micrositu (TM (c) patent pending) I believe to the byproduct of 1) reading while moving and 2) a limited view from the bus that either presents not enough information or the same information from a slightly new angle, such that it's not instantly recognized and placed in context. With respect to the former reason, being lost in the pages of a book will often warp the reader's sense of time, and hence sense of distance travelled. This may produce a personal information gap, the brain not able to determine if I am on the wrong route, have gone too far along the route, or gone not far enough along the route.

I think also it is old age and senility setting in early.

Little St00pid excitement

I can honestly say that getting email from complete strangers who have their own (well thought out and regularly updated) blogs is kindof a little boost for me.

I read a little synopsis on a movie about a massacre at Mountain Meadows in Utah in the 1800's, and I thought to myself, there's a love story in there? It's annoying that Dean Cain (TV Superman) and Terrence Stamp (General Zod) are in the same movie on the same side as the leaders of the Mormons depicted as baddies. What I was going to say about the love story in the fictionalized account is that I'm reminded of a certain Robert Redford/Michelle Pfieffer movie in which Bob's (as they call him a political rallies) character constantly encourages Shellee's (as they call her at the pool) character to find the human interest angle in the story. I think I will make it my life's work for the next few minutes to try to think of movies that DON'T revolve around a handful of well-developed characters you either like or don't like and their development through the story.... Ok can't think of any off hand so I think I'll keep thinking and maybe make an entry of it next time.

Till then.

Back to the Books

While I was away not blogging, I read Company by Max Baz, and it was a spiffy little read. I thought of it as sortof an 'idea' in book form, a fun idea, and well executed. His blurb at the end of the book, thanking his editor for taking the book he liked and making into a book he loved made me curious what the different versions looked like, whether the author's writing was really less palatable. I'm not saying that it was hard to be less palatable because the book was bad, far from it, but I'm reflecting more on my view of the authorship process, that of taking ideas and putting them on to paper, and how the editor comes into play as part of that process. Since I'll enter that process provided I don't die first, I'll probably come into first hand association, but until then it's something of a mystery.

Speaking of myself becoming a writer, I was reading this rant, having navigated there randomly, and was heartened that this person who appears to be so successful is still eating, as she put it, 'fridge bottom salad.'

Next topic, I'm now reading The Omnivore's Dilemma at the suggestion of a friend, and it's just amazing! I brought up the cattle being force fed corn to my wife and she's like, "oh yeah, you didn't know that?" and I realized she must have seen a PBS special on it. But this book is really neat to read because it's not overly liberal/preachy and it just presents this author's pursuit of what you think would be a simple question: What do we have for dinner?

Quotable

I got this from an obscure place in the netaxy ((c)(tm) pending on that word) so I won't bother referencing or citing or anything. Let him/her come find me and serve me notice.

No matter how hot a girl is, someone, somewhere, is sick of her sh*t

Backpack update

Another also sad and strangely common trend on the backpack front is the tendency to leave the smaller and most prodruding, preferably half-circular portion un-zipped. I get the feeling this is on purpose because I've seen it at least every week or month over the last several weeks or months. I predict this will cause people to hesitate more than they do already when deciding whether to let the pesron know. I think however, this deicsion is easily made by the perceptive, who can pick up the social and fashion consciousness in the wearer that he or she is joining a trend or fad.

Such insight!

Whenever I'm feeling Down

Whenever I'm feeling down, I just post an ad on craigslist looking for someone to build me a website. I have deleted a bunch of responses so I don't know exactly how many I got, but I got one today, and my ad was posted days ago!

Also in unrelated news, my sister has read this blog, and has even checked back to see if I made a new post. Anyone who says I don't have any readers is LYING.

Sneezing

I imagine there were at least 5 people who were eagerly reading my blog, back when I posted each week, and that before that there were 8 people who read when I was posting almost every day. Now that I'm down to a month between posts, I imagine those 5 people have moved on.

I was taking Metro to work today, and as I sat down I happened to see a bill in the seat next to the person in front of me with the return address 'Robert Williamson' and I couldn't help thinking what a horribly common name to have.

I sniffled quite a bit while the train made the next two stops, but it wasn't until I pulled out a hanky and blew my nose (not quietly I admit) Robert Williamson, we'll call him Bob Billyson jumped about 6 inches in his chair, glanced backwards in my direction, collected his things and moved 10 rows away. 10 rows forward. I couldn't help chuckle to myself, since the threat to him was the same, I think it was the noise which caused his auditory nerve pulled the trigger, setting in motion a small involuntary part of him, which tumbled into the voluntary part of him, encouraged by another involuntary part, that of annoyance and possibly fear of infection.

Facion Fashun

Musings on fashion trend which consists of super-hero or otherwise cartoony kids backpacks being worn by black and maybe other races which I see on my metro transit as follows:

Fashion must have some form of consciousness that it is conforming to some larger trend or it is not fashion it is individuality. I sense the conformity and connection between each user of these cartoon super-hero children's bags. A person, by herself or himself, who is reduced to by lack of means, or otherwise inclined to buy one of these cheap facilitators of transporting personal belongings (your own belongings or the belongings of others) , does not consititute fashion unless there is a connection, a thread, reaching out to all the other bags of similar style being used, usually in relatively close proximity, i.e. a metropolita.

Further, it is impossible for 'fashion' as an industry to capitalize on the 'fashion' as a consciousness unless it has existed over time and established itself in the minds of more than a few. Only then can it pick up where initial motivation and collective behavior have placed it and carry it further in similar or semi-similar form, as manufactured fashion suitable for high margins.

And here is the job of the fashion industry to take existing behavior, combined with past behavior and past forms, to bring a higher return on fabric, plastic, metal, paper, ink, and thread.

More on City Planning

Wow how long has it been since I last entried.

I'm still working my way through Jane Jacobs' book, and now someone has put a hold on it, so I can't renew and have to return tomorrow. Ordinarily I wouldn't mind stopping a non-fic right in the middle and just taking away the ideas gleaned thus far. In this case however I find each of her ideas new and interesting enough to get all the ones in this book. I'd like to share an excerpt before I turn this thing in, it's a particularly indicative paragraph that shows quality of writing and the clarity of mind which created this work.

Jacobs has turned her attention to the financing of large, in her words, cataclysmic, urban renewal programs, i.e. projects. She is truly breaking down the approach that only huge dumps of cash and wholesale renewal is the answer. She clearly identifies problems, such as dearths of funding for areas that have been blacklisted by banks. She indicts city planners in linking their maps to the maps at the bank. She then starts to explain an alternative theory, not one to only rip to shreds the views she doesn't agree with.

This paragraph is her segue, and I think it's indicative of the ills of many many people who think in only one way, especially in an erroneous way, a way that was and so always will be so. From page 418:

All that is indeed no small accomplishment. The devices of large-scale clearance, slum shifting, slum immuring, project planning, income sorting, use sorting have become so fixed as planning images and as collections of tactics that city rebuilders, and most ordinary citizens too, face a blank when they try to think of city rebuilding without these means. To get past this obstacle, we must understand the original misconception on which the rest of the fancy structure rests.

Cities & Urban Renewal

Getting back to one of the intents of this blog, to provide quality backyard reviews of slected books, I am currently reading The Life and Death of Great American Cities By Jane Jacobs. Who knew a book about the ills of urban renewal (yes the ills of urban renewal, not the ills of the urban space itself) could be so interesting to read. It is the writing and the clear opinion that sucks me in. Though I can't say I have an activist slant myself (yet) I love the clarity which comes from a true interest and belief in what Jacobs is talking about. I enjoy the absolutes that are peppered throughout her narrative. She adds illustrative stories help her concepts stick, and she apologizes up front, in the introduction, for the fact that many of her illustrations come from New York City where she lives.

One more point and I'll add an excerpt. I'm reminded of my Organic Chem professor's completeness of explanation, and his ability to head off loopholes and 'but what ifs.' Jacobs intelligently adds caveats when her parallels are only making a certain point and not completely applicable. One example of this is her comparison of urban planners to doctors in the sense that many urban planners (probably more true in her time) are incorrectly inundated with the 'right' way to plan an urban space the same way doctors of the 19th century were incorrectly inundated with bloodletting as the 'right' way to cure illness. She makes it clear that she is only illustrating the ability of an institution to perpetuate the wrong approach.

In this excerpt she is talking about what makes some streets safe and some streets unsafe. One element she says is that there needs to be eyes on the street, either from the windows, from the shop fronts, or from passers by.

My block of the street, I must explain, is a small one, but it contains a remarkable range of buildings, varying from several vintages of tenements to three- and four-story houses that have been converted into low-rent flats with stores on the ground floor, or returned to single-family use like ours. Across the street there used to be mostly four-story brick tenements with stores below. But twelve years ago several buildings, from the corner to the middle of the block, were converted into one building with elevator apartments of small size and high rents.

The incident that attracted my attention was a suppressed struggle going on between a man and a little girl of eight or nine years old. The man seemed to be trying to get the girl to go with him. By turns he was directing a cajoling attention to her, and the assuming an air of non-chalance. The girl was making herself rigid, as children do when they resist, against the wall of one of the tenements across the street.

As I watched from our second-floor window, making up my mind how to intervene if it seemed advisable, I saw it was not going to be necessary. From the butcher shop beneath the tenement had emerged the woman who, with her husband, runs the shop; she was standing within earshot of the man, her arms folded and a look of determination on her face. Joe Cornacchia, who with his sons-in-law keeps the delicatessen, emerged about the same moment and stood solidly to the other side. Several heads poked out of the tenement windows above, one was withdrawn quickly and its owner reappeared a moment later in the doorway behind the man. Two men from the bar next to the butcher shop came to the doorway and waited. On my side of the street, I saw that the locksmith, and the fruit man and the laundry proprietor had all come out of their shops and that the scene was also being surveyed from a number of windows besides ours. That man did not know it, but he was surrounded. Nobody was going to allow a little girl to be dragged off, even if nobody knew who she was.

I am sorry -- sorry purely for dramatic purposes -- to have to report that the little girl turned out to be the man's daughter.

Throughout the duration of the little drama, perhaps five minutes in all, no eyes appeared in the windows of the high-rent, small-apartment building. It was the only building of which this was true. When we first moved to our block, I used to anticipate happily that perhaps soon all the buildings would be rehabilitated like that one. I know better now, and can only anticipate with gloom and foreboding the recent news that exactly this transformation is scheduled for the rest of the block frontage adjoining the high-rent building. The high-rent tenants, most of whom are so transient we cannot even keep track of their faces, have not the remotest idea of who takes care of their street, or how. A city neighborhood can absorb and protect a substantial number of these birds of passage, as our neighborhood does. But if and when the neighborhood finally becomes them, they will gradually find the streets less secure, they will be vaguely mystified about it, and if things get bad enough they will drift away to another neighborhood which is mysteriously safer.

Dedicated to Hate

Random musings on my transit to work:

This blog is dedicated to hate, for I hate what I am not and it is the hate that makes me wonder at myself. Hate or jealousy I can't decide. Jealousy of hte surface but under the dirt is it hate or love?

Also random quote for a shirt:
'I'd rather talk to an African than an African-American'
maybe on the back...
'The truth hurts.'
And as I thought about the African-Americans that would take offense, I thought, "No big loss from my life."

Let's just say I won't be sailing with Captain Jack on The Diversity Pearl.

Major Event Completed - Next Level

Major event last half of Feb, hence why I haven't been around. You know if I had a real topic to write about, it wouldn't be painfully obvious that I just kept my personal life out of my blog. On the other hand, I find myself looking for clues in others' blogs.

One random thought, why do I want people to link to my blog? If you look at Okaskaki's blog, he tells you how to make money with a blog. This is good. See my money maker to the right, and click on something please.

On the other hand, is there any greatness ahead for me in the bloverse? the blogfog? I'm going to add someone else to my side bar.. so far it's been ppl I actually know of, or have conversed with more than zero times, and ppl who have are hard core web-loggers. My addition falls into the latter category.

Today's word comes from my current book, and a very good one! Note to self remind me again to email my sister and get her to read it. The Death and Life of Great American Cities by Jane Jacobs. Well today's word has slipped my mind, but it had an extra a in there, which make me think of the word's origins, the 'a' must have been a Latin 'ae' at one time.

Word of the week, however, is easier: meh.

More on Trolls

Saw this pretty funny t-shirt on the subject via Wil Wheaton's post

Also I'd like to add, it was really amazing to read his latest review of Star Trek TNG, I haven't bothered to go to the full review on TV time or whatever it was he wrote for, but the link is here. It's just neat to read his self-reflective writing and put it with what little I know about sphincter-boy as we all referred to him back then and what the real person went through, and see the comments he makes about himself in the role. Just great writing, for real.

Fuel Cells

First off, I want to say I love reading blogs.... I read all sorts and all kinds, and there's no end to the amount of information I have access to without leaving my desk or talking to a single soul. I don't even have to nod my head, say "uh huh" or respond in any way, I can just absorb. Not very useful of me, admittedly, but this is definitely a state of the world in which I, your typical nobody has access to so much more STUFF.

One blog, Guy Kawasaki, who is quite useful in what he pushes out there, I have to say, said to look at your blog as a 'product' rather than a letter. A book, if you will. Well that falls in line with my original albeit unrealized goal of using this as a proving ground for my writing ability. Well if that's the case, then I need to pick a topic. For example, Anil Dash has the topic of blogging, intrinsically useful for bloggers, of course provided that he has useful things to say about it all. Guy's blog is about being a more effective entrepreneur (sp? oh good I spelled it right, thank you spell chequer!! (as a side not I almost never use spellchekre)) where was I? Oh yes, so Guy says all this nice stuff, and to top it off, he has traffic and he's figured out how to monetize his traffic, and the bank account (continues to in his case) fills right up. I'm not sure I have the time or energy to make my blog worth money, but as you can see to the side I do have some Goooogle ads so feel free to click on the links. Just one?

So! Why did I entitle my blog Fuel Cells? Well I'd like a piece of that market. Wouldn't we all. If I had to choose a topic I could actually stay on for more than approximately 2 days, it would be fuel cells. I even have a few bookmarks pointed to hydrogen fuel cell websites. I won't waste my time trying to link to them, since this isn't a fuel cell site yet, so no one is going to come here looking for information or anything, ok? Just go to del.ici.ous, Okay?

More ramble, are you ready? I've been using dogpile recently and I find it doesn't have the information I'm used to seeing on Google. How strange, no? It's actually a teeny bit annoying to use dogpile. I couldn't explain it quickly, but I'll have to think about it some more.